


Thunderstruck

by ronans



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, DCBB, Dean/Cas Big Bang Challenge 2014, M/M, Movie Stars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2014-11-14
Packaged: 2018-02-25 09:14:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 30,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2616398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ronans/pseuds/ronans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester's job as an actor has been pretty much smooth sailing up until the point where his agent, Charlie Bradbury, lands him an audition for one particular movie. Worried about exploring a different role, that's seemingly out of his comfort zone, Dean accepts. He's never been comfortable with his sexuality, but Castiel Novak, his future co-star and on-screen love interest, seems to make him consider the idea of settling down and finally accepting outwardly who he is. With a little push from Charlie and his brother Sam, of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I've Got a Secret Picking at My Brain

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I have a few thank yous to give out.  
> minions4pie over on livejournal has done some absolutely amazing art for this which you should definitely look at, I love it a lot  
> whereareyoucas beta'd this thing - I am endlessly grateful for that, she is a wonderful human who also writes wonderful fics  
> J1mmyNovak was just there for support the whole way through me writing this so thANK YOU SO MUCH  
> I probably wouldn't have finished this without these people so yes thank you
> 
> I made a playlist for this containing all the songs I put in the chapter titles. I got inspiration from the songs even though the whole songs don't really match up with the content? But you can find that here: http://youtu.be/izzY55ACUQo?list=PLXpehZ0Dr9VlFatSLUy3XB-cItHiPGRI9

‘Nope, I’m not doing it. There’s no way.’

‘ _Dean_ , you _have_ to take the part!’ Charlie threw her hand down in frustration. Her Bluetooth blinked under her fiery red hair as it always did.

‘No, Charlie!’ Dean growled, crossing his arms over his chest and huffing.

‘That’s it. I’m gonna use my managerial powers to accept this audition for you. I’m not letting you pass this _golden_ opportunity up!’

‘No! You-‘ Dean cut himself off and looked away from Charlie, frowning. He began again more softly. ‘You know I’m not ready for people to know yet.’

Charlie seemed to deflate a little. ‘I know, Dean, of course I know. But you seriously do _not_ want this going the other way either.’

Dean cocked an eyebrow and glanced up at her, evidently confused.

‘You don’t want everyone to think you’re a massive homophobe.’

Dean scoffed and settled further back into his chair. ‘Charlie-‘

‘I can’t have you throw away this deal, Dean. If anything, think of all the money they'd be offering you. And you'd be cast as one of the leads! You’ll get so much out of this-‘

‘Calm down, you’re turning as red as your hair.’

Charlie didn’t look amused, mirroring Dean and crossing her arms. ‘ _Dean_. I know you’re not used to me getting pissed over a role but this would be so unbelievably good for you.’

Dean sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, pushing slightly into his eye sockets. ‘How would this be good for me, exactly?’

Charlie was silent for a moment before Dean felt the chair’s arm dip when she sat next to him. ‘Well, for one, it might give you more confidence coming o-‘

‘No,’ Dean quickly butted in, but Charlie continued as if he never had.

‘Two, if you look too into boning a dude, people will just think you’re a great actor if you still want to stay buried in the closet.’ She had a point but Dean didn’t even want to think about it.

‘Charlie-‘

‘And three, I think you’ll be _very_ happy about who has to play the part of your sexy gay lover.’

Dean threw an unimpressed glare at Charlie before his curiosity got the better of him.

‘Okay… who is he?’

Charlie stood up and pretended to look disinterested, bringing her nails close to her eyes and inspecting them. ‘Oh, just one Castiel Novak.’

Dean’s throat was suddenly dry. Huh. ‘C-Castiel? The same Castiel Novak who was a season regular on Dr Sexy MD?’

‘Uhuh.’

‘The _very same_ Castiel Novak who _just so happened_ to get the lead role in a movie I acci-fucking-dently turned down?’

‘The very same.’ Charlie grinned over at Dean. He wore a two parts excited, one part pissed off expression, the same expression that endlessly amused her. ‘So?’

‘So what?’ Dean grumbled.

‘So! Will you take it? The part?’

Dean trapped his bottom lip between his teeth. It was tempting, oh so tempting. ‘I don’t know…’ He figured he’d at least make Charlie a little bit annoyed with his indecision.

She sighed and reached into her badge covered, unprofessional looking shoulder bag and carefully pulled out a rather thick pile of bound papers. Dean raised an eyebrow and readied himself.

‘Will you at _least_ leaf through the script? The writing’s actually pretty good. Just separate yourself from your gay crisis and take a look at it.’ The last part was spoken in a sterner tone.

‘Fine,’ Dean snapped with no real malice. He got up and took the script from a smug-looking Charlie.

‘Good! My job’s done for today, I’ll call you on Friday, you better have made a decision by then!’ Charlie gave him a pointed look before letting herself out of his apartment.

Dean rolled his eyes and shot a dubious glance at the weighty script. After deliberating for a few minutes, he let out a long breath and threw it unceremoniously onto the coffee table. He made his way to the kitchen and grabbed a beer out of the fridge. Once he strolled back into the living room, he frowned childishly at the script and, after a while, believed it was taunting him.

‘What?’ he growled. He grouchily swigged at his beer, glaring at the paper. Eventually he shuffled over to the coffee table and dropped down onto the sofa, taking the script with him.

_Lonely Angel_

Dean tittered at the title but sighed and turned the page. Some of the confirmed cast were already listed which he found odd but he scanned his eyes over the names to see if he recognised any of them. Castiel’s name stood proudly in bold at the top of the list.

He’d worked with Benny Lafitte before on some small time short film but he was surprised to see his name there. Anna Milton; he’d definitely heard of her.

The rest of the list blurred and merged together into an unknown mass. Dean blinked several times and decided to move on.

After an hour or so, he’d read the whole thing and drained two beers and a coffee which he decided not to make Irish. The plot was relatively simple; guy meets guy, guy gets to know guy, guys have sex, guys fall in love and profess it to one another, other characters pop up every now and again and bring with them some angst, the usual. He balked a little at the sex scene but guessed he could at least get to know Castiel and be comfortable around him before that happened. That was if the guy didn’t turn out to be a dick, but he guessed that could probably make things easier.

Charlie was right; the writing was pretty good even if the plot wasn’t exactly original and a lot of the scenes were on the cheesy side. He could really see himself enjoying being a part of the project. A small voice in the back of his head told him that he was probably really only considering auditioning because of the Castiel situation. So he was completely comfortable with the dude on dude aspect, he was simply reluctant to share with the rest of the world just _how_ comfortable he was with it.

He scratched the back of his neck and blinked tiredly, looking at the clock. ‘Ergh, I need sleep.’


	2. I Can Face It Just About

Dean yawned and rolled over, squinting at his digital clock. Wednesday, 12:07PM. He grunted and burrowed his face into his pillow. He had to stop getting used to sleeping in if he was going to actually take the job.

A sudden jolt of panic shot through his body as he remembered he had to meet Sam in less than an hour. His not-so-little brother, who was on girlfriend number twenty something, had news to share with him that apparently required a lunch meet up.

Dean reluctantly disentangled himself from the cocoon he had made with his covers and yelped as he rolled too far and fell face first onto his floorboards. He rubbed his head, grumbling, and stood up to find a decent outfit.

‘Biggerson’s means plaid,’ he mumbled to himself, searching through the rack for his light green plaid button up and darker green t-shirt. For a guy who was able to live _very_ comfortably, he sure did have a limited wardrobe.

Once he’d showered and changed, he went to the kitchen and quickly made a coffee to go, briefly glancing at the script before rushing out the door.

LA was crazy and it took Dean longer than he would have liked to get to the Biggerson’s the brothers usually met up at. His black ‘67 Impala was not made for this sort of traffic. As soon as he miraculously found a parking space and entered the diner, he was greeted with a trade mark bitch face framed with flowing brown hair courtesy of one Sam Winchester. 

‘Dean. Late. _Again_.’

Dean frowned at his brother. ‘Wow, hi to you too.’

Sam, also dressed in plaid, shook his head and stood up to hug Dean. ‘Heads up, one o’clock,’ Sam said in his ear in a tone filled with annoyance. Dean rolled his eyes, broke away from Sam and turned around. Sure enough, a teenage girl with short blonde hair and a star struck expression was virtually tripping over her own feet to get to him.

‘Dean Winchester?’ she practically shrieked. Dean winced but plastered on a large smile.

‘Hey there, sweetheart.’ He could have sworn the girl was about to pass out.

‘C-can I get a picture please?’ Her freaking hands were shaking due to his presence. He’d never get used to that.

‘Sure thing.’ Dean bent down to her height, wrapping an arm around her waist and smiling at the front camera on her phone.

‘Oh. My. God. Thank you so much!’ she squealed after taking the photo, suddenly spinning around and hugging him tightly.

‘Christ,’ Dean breathed, awkwardly patting her back.

‘Thank you!’ she said again, skipping back out of the diner. Dean shook his head in bewilderment and then finally sat down across from Sam.

‘That was embarrassing,’ Sam sighed.

Dean chuckled. ‘You’re just jealous you don’t have such amazing skills with women.’

‘Try telling that to my fiancée,’ Sam replied smugly, bringing the menu up in front of his face. Dean just stared at Sam, mouth agape.

‘What? _No_ ,’ he whined, burying his face in his hands.

Sam looked confused. ‘What?’

‘Again, Sam? _Really_?!’

The taller Winchester shuffled in his seat and carried on looking at the menu even though he ordered the same damn salad every time.

‘You know, I can’t even remember this one’s name?’

The bitch face was back as Sam slammed down his menu. ‘Madison, Dean, her name is _Madison_.’

‘Blonde hair, right?’

‘No, that was Jessica.’

‘Or it could have been a Ruby,’ Dean pointed out with a grin.

Sam sat back in his chair. ‘I never got engaged to blonde-haired Ruby, thank you.’ His expression turned bitter at even the mention of the name, both of the brother's thoughts turning to the other "brown-haired Ruby".

‘Okay, whoop de doo. So, seriously, which one is this?’ Dean asked with a smirk, although he was being serious; he couldn’t keep up with Sam’s latest hook ups.

‘She has brown hair and is _amazing_. All three of us went to see that werewolf movie together, remember? Well, you should, it was two friggin’ weeks ago!’

Dean let out a whistle. ‘So that would be just over two weeks that you’ve been together and you’re engaged? I thought she’d at _least_ be pregnant by now. You’re gettin’ slow, Sammy.’

Sam frowned at his older brother and crossed his arms. ‘You know, I don’t have to listen to you. You’re being a jerk.’

Dean shrugged and leant his elbows on the table. ‘Yeah, well, maybe you should settle for one chick.’

‘I _am_ settling! Hence the fact we’re _engaged_ , Dean. God.’

‘Do you actually want me to list how many times you’ve been engaged in your short twenty four years of existence? Do you really?’

Sam huffed and looked away from his brother. ‘I thought you’d at least pretend to be happy for me.’

Dean’s smirk softened then as he looked at his brother. ‘Okay, I’m sorry, Sammy. I’m happy that this one might actually not end in either calling off the engagement or an annulment. You remember Becky?’

A slow smile spread across Sam’s face. ‘Shut up, Dean. Oh man… Vegas… Jesus, what was I thinking?’

‘I dunno dude, it happens to the best of us… Look, Sam, I don’t mean to piss you off, it’s just… you gotta realise that all this is just…’

‘A little crazy?’ Sam supplied, looking slightly troubled, sighting where the conversation was headed.

‘Yeah. I know… I know Sarah was it for you but you can’t just keep choppin’ and changin’ with all these girls because she’s out of your life. You know something’s up when even _I_ can’t remember their names.’

Sam avoided Dean’s eyes and nibbled on his bottom lip. The quiet between the both of them stretched out awkwardly and Dean had had enough of his brother’s broken expression.

‘Hey, I still remember that time you stole that girl Katie’s panties in your junior year and wore them over your jeans for the whole day.’

Sam started laughing, glad Dean had made the subject matter lighter. ‘Wait… that was you!’

Dean’s eyes widened and then he slapped his forehead. ‘Oh shit, yeah, that was me.’

Sam’s sniggers died down as the waitress came over to take their orders. They’d memorised them long ago and ran them off to her; Sam’s bean-sprout-something-or-other salad with a metric fuck ton of olives and Dean’s humble Turducken Slammer.

‘So, got any gigs coming up?’ Sam asked when she left, the air between them cleared.

Dean anxiously rubbed the back of his neck. He knew the matter would come up but he still felt uncomfortable. It wasn’t like Sam didn’t know he was bisexual, but he still felt weird telling him about the movie.

‘Uh, yeah, actually.’

Interest lit up Sam’s eyes and he leant forward. ‘Oh yeah? Tell me about it.’

Dean swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. Why was he finding this so hard?

‘Well, it’s… slightly different to my normal stuff. Got a really good… good co-star, too. I haven’t confirmed it yet, but the studio got in contact with Charlie and asked me to audition to be one of the leads and I’d really like to do it.’ Dodging the plot line smoothly.

‘Great… Well?’

‘Huh?’ Dean played clueless.

Sam rolled his eyes and smiled at the waitress as she brought over their drinks. ‘What’s it about, dumbass?’

Dean snickered and sipped his beer. ‘Uh… heh… So, basically, it’s about these, uh, these two dudes who fall in love and… they also fuck.’

Sam raised an eyebrow at his brother and then burst out laughing. ‘Eloquently put there, Dean.’

‘Shut up, bitch, I just… yeah, I don’t know how else to put it.’

Sam grinned and shook his head. ‘So, who’s the “really good good” co-star?’

‘Hey, don’t quote me to me, especially me when I’m awkward.’

‘Shh, who is he?’

Dean drank some more of his beer and stared intensely at the table top. Sam knew he had a thing for anyone that starred on Dr Sexy. Goddammit, he’d _know_. ‘Uh, Castiel Novak. You know him?’

Sam made a ‘psh’ noise and chuckled. ‘Uhm, yeah, everyone knows him. He’s almost a big a star as you!’

‘Your sarcasm pains me, Samuel.’

Sam wrinkled his nose. ‘Oh god, I think I actually miss you calling me Sammy.’

Dean tittered and looked out the window, eyes landing on a billboard. ‘And speak of the friggin’ devil.’

The younger Winchester followed Dean’s gaze and breathed out a laugh when he spotted the huge poster of Castiel’s latest film. ‘Guy’s hot.’

Dean slowly turned his head to let his bugging eyes fall on his brother. ‘State the obvious, why don’tcha, Sammy? Jeez.’

‘So, given much thought to the sex scene yet?’

Dean simply groaned and let his head fall on the table.

*

Dean was smiling as he entered his apartment. Even though Sam irritated the hell out of him with his inability to stick to one person, he also never failed to cheer him up. He’d always been the more focused one of the brothers – endless string of relationships aside – and had actually talked through the job with him seriously and rationally, reassuring Dean that it would all be fine and should just go for it.

‘I’m not gonna make your decisions for you, I just agree with Charlie… I think it would be really good for you, man.’

Another smile broke out on his face as he made his way towards his kitchen and turned on the coffee machine, feeling more content with himself than he’d been in a long time.


	3. I Am a Host to Something Unkind

Dean played with his short brown hair as he listened to the ring of the phone, waiting for Charlie to pick up. He was too hyped up to wait for her to call the following day so he decided to ring her first.

‘Charlie!’

‘Dean h- Hi there… Uh, you okay?’ Charlie sounded like she was smirking at his eager attitude.

Dean squinted, trying to reel in some of his energy. ‘Yeah, you?’

‘I’m doing great, thanks. Dude, this better be good because I was halfway through The Goblet of Fire. You know how much I need to give it and Harry’s hair my absolute full, undivided attention.’

He rolled his eyes as she listed "complete" synonyms and shifted in his bed. ‘Okay, okay, I just… I wanted to ring you first.’

‘About time!’

Dean frowned. ‘Huh?’

‘Who’s the father?’

Confusion. Absolute confusion. ‘ _What_ are you talking about?’

‘Hm? Oh, when you said that you wanted to call me first, I assumed you meant that I was going to be the first person you told about your pregnancy.’

‘You’re insane.’ Dean shook his head, his brain hurting a little.

‘Okay, go on, what were you gonna say?’

‘I think… I think I’m gonna go for the role.’

He could almost hear Charlie beaming. ‘Yes! I _knew_ Novak would swing it! Remind me to thank him when we’re on set.’

‘Novak didn’t swing it,’ Dean groused, but he knew he didn’t sound at all convincing to even himself.

‘Right, sure. Look, I’ll go and call Crowley now and we can get this show on the road!’

‘Weren’t you watching Henry Peter?’

Charlie’s whine made Dean laugh. ‘You know I hate it when you act like a dumb jock.’

‘Bye, Charlie,’ Dean said around a grin.

‘Adios, chica.’

‘I’m not a- actually, you know what, never mind.’

‘Hah! I hadn’t hung up.’

‘Aw man. Go away.’ Dean quickly hung up on her before any more damage could be done. He exhaled a long breath and finally dragged himself out of bed, making a beeline to the coffee maker, as he did every morning / afternoon.

His bones clicked as he stretched, waiting for the coffee to brew. His tired eyes raked over the granite surfaces in the kitchen and his brow creased.

‘Are you following me?’ Dean asked the script, not expecting a reply. He was sure he’d left it in the living room. The last thing he needed in the apartment was a haunted gay movie script. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes, turning around to pour the coffee into his favourite mug. Sam had given it to him and, if Dean remembered correctly, Sarah had actually helped him choose it. He smiled sadly for his brother and then desperately tried to remember what Madison looked like as he padded through to the lounge.

On his route, he glimpsed the one photograph he’d positioned on the decorative table in the hallway between the kitchen and the front room. He sucked in a breath and stopped walking. It was a picture of John Winchester sat on an uncomfortable looking wooden chair with his two young sons perched on each thigh. Dean found himself chewing on the inside of his right cheek, something he’d always done in the presence of his father, constantly nervous that he wasn’t going to make his dad proud.

Suddenly Dean felt a weight on his chest as he brought one of the reasons he wouldn’t come out to the forefront of his mind. John Winchester had been rather vocal about his dislike for people who shared Dean’s ‘lifestyle’. Dean shuddered and suddenly coffee wasn’t going to do it for him anymore.

Why had he decided he was going to accept the movie deal? What would John have thought of him?

Dean’s teeth were starting to make his cheek incredibly sore but he ignored the pain as he retraced his steps back to the kitchen and his liquor cabinet. Sure, it was morning-bordering-on-afternoon and generally considered incredibly early to start drinking but he needed to take his mind off the rapid onslaught of bad thoughts.

*

‘Charlene?’ Dean slurred into the phone mouthpiece. Charlie instantly picked up on it and located her car keys.

‘Dean? Are you at home?’ She couldn’t keep the worry out of her tone. Quickly, she slipped on her jacket and left her apartment, just barely remembering to grab her bag.

Dean chuckled down the line. ‘Of _course_ I’m home, ya idjit.’

‘Okay, so you’re Bobby now?’ she said, referring to her girlfriend’s mother’s husband… It sounded more confusing than it was, and she knew Dean would get the reference, Bobby being a close friend of his family too.

‘Verr funny. Look, I jus’ wanted t’ say that- uh- wow, the sun is so damn _bright_!’

Charlie rolled her eyes as she reached her beaten up Beetle, unlocking it. ‘Don’t look at it too long, moron, you’ll go blind.’

She could hear Dean inhale sharply, taking her comment incredibly seriously. ‘Wow! Sorry!’

‘Dean, I’ll be over in a minute, I can’t talk whilst driving, okay? Just… hang in there for a sec, alright?’ she asked, keys in the ignition.

‘I will be waiting for you, Mr Bond.’

Charlie could only close her eyes. ‘Your drunk quoting is the worst, dude. On my way,’ she said dismissively, hanging up the phone and sighing deeply. She wondered what had Dean so worked up this time.

*

Charlie was greeted with the sight of Dean sprawled out on the couch, legs hanging over the back cushions and head lolling over the cushions people usually considered as the ones you sat on.

‘Do you ever think about… how your butt is like twenty six years old? Like… your ass is over two ‘n a half _decades_ old. Fuckin’ weird.’ Dean let out a few giggles in short bursts.

Charlie chuckled but pulled the whiskey bottle away from Dean before he could take another sip even if it was already practically empty. ‘How drunk are you, Winchester?’

Dean shrugged and his laughter died down. ‘Real drunk. A whole lotta drunk.’

Charlie sat down on the coffee table opposite him as he began humming _Whole Lotta Love_ and finally sat the right way up. ‘Why, Dean?’

‘Oh shit! Manager agent thing’s not supposed to know about drunk clients!’

She shook her head and placed a hand on Dean’s leg. ‘Dean, I’m not just your agent.’

‘I know,’ Dean sighed, letting his head fall back against the couch.

‘Tell me what’s up.’

‘Dad’ll hate me for this.’

Charlie frowned in sympathy before quietly replying, ‘Your dad’s not here, Dean, it’s okay.’

‘Nah, he’ll still hate me. Hates me.’

She bit her lip and then moved to sit next to Dean on the sofa. ‘Shh.’

Dean turned into Charlie, resting his face on her shoulder. She could feel it growing damp and all she could do was rub her friend’s back as he cried. She felt angry at Dean’s father for continuing to affect his life even from beyond the grave.

‘Look, Dean, it would be a huge mistake for you to turn down this role just because it’s not what your dad would have supported,’ she murmured as soon as Dean’s sobs began to quieten. Dean scooted back, out of her arms, with a look of terror on his face.

‘Charlie, I can’t do this. I… Christ, I just… what the hell would he think of me, huh? Fuckin’ queer movie.’

Charlie scoffed and rolled her eyes. ‘Dean. Come on, this isn’t you. If anything, Sam would be mad at you if you didn’t do it. He called me after you met up with him and told me he knew you were excited to do it! And he was happy for you.’

‘Doesn’t matter what Sam thinks.’

‘Yeah? Well Sam’s alive,’ Charlie countered, feeling instantly bad as she saw Dean’s face drop. Her chest felt tight as Dean’s expression grew blank and he was looking at her as if he couldn’t really see her.

‘I think you should leave.’

‘Dean, I didn’t mean-‘

‘No, please, just go.’

Charlie sighed but stood up, brushing her hands on her jeans. She knew what she’d said was entirely too harsh to her fragile client and friend, but at some point being his agent and ensuring he’d take the job _had_ to become top priority. How she acted with work was a lot tougher and with a more unemotional approach and some of that was down to her girlfriend Jo’s influence. Part of the reason why she was such a good agent was that she could score career changing roles because she was so focused; that and her naturally sunny personality seemed to always work in her favour. ‘Dean, you’ll get past this. _Trust_ me. I’m so sorry for what I said but, unfortunately, it doesn’t make it any less true. Call me when you’re sober, okay?’

Dean wouldn’t be lying if he said he hated his friend a little bit in that moment and scowled drunkenly as his eyes followed her out of the apartment.

‘Oh, and don’t sleep on your back, I don’t want you choking and dying on me!’ she called over her shoulder at the last minute.

Dean’s frown deepened and the intense feeling that he wanted to punch something overcame him caused his fists to clench. The alcohol made him immune, he figured. A grimace stretched across his lips and he quickly yet forcefully slammed both of his fists into his coffee table.

The adrenaline soon drained and was once again replaced with crippling sadness. He’d run out of a drinkable amount of alcohol long ago and all that was left was for him to lie down (on his side) and promptly pass out.

*

Dean’s first thought upon waking was: _I’m probably dying_. His second thought was: _who the fuck drank all my Jack?!_

He groaned and blinked the sleep from his eyes, reaching out to grab the empty glass bottle and shake it weakly, the final remaining drops of whiskey sloshing pathetically at the bottom. His back hurt like a bitch and so did his neck; oh the joys of passing out on your couch. And his _knuckles_. He flexed his fingers and stared at them in confusion as they pulsed with pain.Dean winced as he ceased his movement and sat up too fast into an upright position, his head thumping angrily. Gradually, he dragged himself off the sofa and shuffled towards his bathroom and, more importantly, his medicine cabinet.

‘God fucking damn, Charlie, would it have killed you to have made me drink some water?’ he grumbled to himself as he pushed two painkillers out of the packet and into his palm. As soon as the words left his mouth he paused and stared stupidly at his reflection. _Charlie_. She’d been there the day before. Fleeting images of her face flashed through his mind and fragments of words said came back to him. ‘Oh,’ he breathed.

His third and most pressing thought that morning was: _I should call Charlie_.

*

His agent’s unimpressed face filled his vision as she burst into his apartment.

‘Hey!’ he greeted with a grin, feigning ignorance. _Please don’t kill me_.

‘You know how worried I was about you when you called, drunk off your ass, yesterday, Dean?!’

‘Do you want a coffee? Or tea? Or-‘

‘Dean!’

He sighed and dragged his feet as he walked to the kitchen. He really wasn’t looking forward to the conversation ahead. ‘Look, I apologise, alright? It was a stupid move.’

When he turned back around, he caught the end of Charlie rolling her eyes. ‘Damn right it was, but I don’t really blame you. You’ve got daddy issues, like we all have.’

‘Low blow,’ Dean whistled, opening up a cabinet to fetch a mug.

She paused before speaking again. ‘I’ve been a little insensitive, I’ll give you that.’

Dean nodded as his coffee machine whirred into life, promising him caffeine. ‘A little, but I forgive you.’

‘Oh joy, I feel so relieved now that you, the renowned Dean Winchester, have forgiven me for my sins.’

‘Yeah, was the sarcasm really necessary?’

Charlie pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and glanced over at Dean. ‘Look, I know I’ve pressured you with this role, I just see so many benefits with it and it would hurt me to see you not give it a shot. Your audition’s in two days, Dean, I need a definite yes or no answer right now. Honestly. Are you gonna at least give it a try?’

Dean busied himself with pouring out his coffee and adding way too much sugar and milk, stuff he was usually light on, to avoid the reality Charlie was forcing him to deal with.

‘Well?’

He let out a long breath before finally turning to look at her. ‘I want to do it. I’ll be at the audition.’

Charlie’s face instantly brightened and she surged forward to hug him tightly. ‘You’re making the right decision, trust me.’

‘Since when has trusting you been a good thing?’ he groaned.

‘Since I got you famous, dickwad. I’m gonna call the studio and set up a small meeting with one of the producers or something for after your audition, okay?’

‘It’s almost like you came here organised, expecting me to say I’d take the friggin’ part.’

‘Oh you know me so well.’


	4. The Devil's Got Nothing on Me, My Friend

Dean wiped his mouth with one of the entirely too fancy napkins and tapped his feet nervously. Crowley was due to arrive at the restaurant, which he had picked out, any moment and Dean’s palms were becoming clammy. He’d heard many things about the Brit, none of them too pleasant, but Dean was still desperate to make a good impression; he was scared of the reaction but really wanted the role. After he’d talked with Charlie, she’d indeed stuck to her word and arranged for him to meet with someone from the studio he’d be working for.

A short man in a dark suit that was probably designer approached the table, led by one of the waiters. Dean could have laughed aloud at the guy’s pompous expression and ridiculous blood red tie but he wanted the job and wasn’t going to jeopardise his chances before the man had even sat down.

‘Mr Winchester, wonderful you could make it,’ Crowley opened with a shark-like grin, as if he had been the one to turn up first and not Dean. The actor smiled back politely and stood, extending a hand. The waiter who’d shown Crowley to the table hovered to the side as they shook hands. ‘I’m Fergus Crowley, as I’m sure you know, but please, just call me Crowley.’

‘Yeah, hi there.’

Crowley lifted an eyebrow in amusement and released Dean’s, thankfully dry, hand. He gestured to Dean’s chair and they both took a seat at the table. The waiter shot forward with a slightly manic look in his brown eyes. ‘Sir would you like your-‘

‘Yes! Thank you, Kevin.’

Dean stared incredulously between them. The kid was _scared_ of Dean’s potential boss. A waiter at a random ass restaurant was scared of him. Great. Dean could only predict good things for his future job, then.

‘You okay, man?’ Dean asked, trying to seem casual.

“Kevin” glanced up at Dean and smiled shakily. Jeez, had the kid been up all night? He looked completely worn out. ‘Um, yeah…’ he replied, looking bewildered.

Dean just nodded and moved his gaze down to the drinks menu in his hands, practically boring a hole in the fancy, expensive looking card.

Crowley snorted and dismissed the waiter with a wave of his hand, looking at Dean the entire time. ‘So! Winchester,’ he started as soon as Kevin was out of earshot. Dean looked up warily, taking in Crowley’s clasped hands and almost dangerous expression.

‘Uh, yeah?’

‘I must say, you were first choice in _my_ mind for this role. And I heard your audition went well?’

Dean replaced the menu on the table and sat back with a smile. Well, he certainly hadn’t been expecting _that_ comment. ‘Really? Wow. I mean, thanks. I think it went okay, yeah.’

Crowley seemed to be in a perpetual state of amusement in Dean’s presence, the kind that made Dean feel like he was a complete bumbling idiot rather than a comedian. ‘Yes. I thought you would be able to bring a… _depth_ to the role that would be rare to find in a performance from another actor.’

He frowned a little but soon smoothed out his brow and nodded. ‘I’m flattered, man, thank you.’

The older man paused. Dean soon began to squirm under his scrutiny. ‘You’re incredibly laid back, Dean. Exactly how I imagined the character of Michael to be.’

Dean couldn’t help but snort. ‘You serious? I got that total stick up his ass vibe from Michael, myself.’ And then Dean almost choked on his own spit in shock from speaking so brazenly towards the frankly unnerving man.

Dean’s comment only seemed to fuel Crowley’s entertainment. ‘Well, we all have our own perspective. That’s what makes life so interesting, don’t you think?’

‘Uh, yeah… I guess.’ The actor scratched his stubble covered cheek just to give his hands something to do; he simply felt awkward and small in the guy’s presence and it was making him want to bolt. The decision was taken out of his hands when Kevin reappeared with a martini and an almost raw steak that sat in a pool of blood. Or jus, Dean really fucking hoped it was a jus, but he doubted it. Dean’s eyes widened as he took in the meal and his mouth was set in a disbelieving grimace. A small voice in the back of his mind also allowed him to think about how rude Crowley was for not allowing Dean an opportunity to order anything, not even a fucking drink.

‘So! As you can imagine, you’re in a good position here. The job’s yours if you wish to accept.’

Crowley’s voice broke through Dean’s horror and reminded him to compose his features. ‘I’ve been seriously thinking about it. I mean, I really want it, yeah.’ Dean coughed a little and scratched the back of his neck, feeling uneasy. Sure, he did really want the role, but accepting it from Crowley seemed more like selling his soul and first born away than anything else. Crowley grinned widely as Dean picked up the jug of water that had been placed in the middle of the table, pouring himself a glass a little bitterly. The twinkle in the darker haired man’s eyes made Dean’s heart thump erratically and his palms sweat; he looked like he knew something that, in the wrong hands, could do some damage. His suspicions were soon confirmed.

‘Part of the reason our team suggested you was because we felt you’d bring a more… _personal_ aspect to the role.’

Dean swallowed a sip of water and blanched slightly. This was the second time Crowley had fished for a reaction from Dean during the conversation, and finally Dean was taking the bait. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

Crowley shrugged with an entirely too smug expression on his face. _God_ Dean wanted to punch him. ‘Oh you know, I have my people. You’ve actively been a private sponsor to the LGBlah blah blah community, haven’t you?’

‘LGBTQIA community,’ Dean quietly corrected like a reflex before he leaned forward concernedly. ‘And how in the hell did you find out about that?’

‘Like I said, I have my people.’ Dean didn’t really like the sound of these “people”. Shady as fuck.

Both men locked gazes for what seemed like hours before Dean flicked his eyes back down to the crimson table cloth; there’s something inherently awful about keeping eye contact with a man who looks like he was the one who personally slaughtered the animal on his plate. Crowley seemed entirely too suspect for Dean’s liking, but he knew he was already in too deep. The other man could have dug a huge amount of dirt up on Dean and he knew it.

‘Eating what’s in front of us is a mere formality, Dean, you’re free to leave now.’ _So much for the free meal_ , Dean thought to himself. Clearly Crowley was giving him an out and also indicating that if he _did_ eat, he certainly wasn’t paying for it. ‘My people will be in contact with your people and we’ll get these contracts signed up.’

‘Great, thanks,’ Dean replied sarcastically, pushing away from the table a little too harshly. He sped out of the restaurant, all the while shoving his leather jacket on. He passed Kevin and he seemed to be looking at Dean with an expression akin to complete awe. Dean nodded at Kevin in acknowledgement and relished the feeling of the crisp night air against his heated skin as he stepped out of the building. He couldn’t wait to call Sam, figuring a phone conversation would better occupy his time on the walk home than the sounds of LA traffic; he’d decided to leave the Impala at home.

‘So this Crowley guy? _Huge_ fucking douche,’ Dean said into his cell, his breath speeding up. Fleetingly, he had the thought that he really should get back into going to the gym.

Sam chuckled, not even commenting on the fact that Dean didn’t even open with a “hello”. The sounds of him cooking filtered through the line. Dean rolled his eyes. ‘ _Oh yeah? Hey, don’t tell me you’re calling to say you backed out again?!_ ’

Dean smirked at his brother’s vexed tone and quickly opted to put him out of his misery. ‘Nah, just the technicality of doing a chemistry read, to make sure, and then… I’ve got the part.’

‘ _Halle-freakin’-llujah, we were worried about you for a while there. I would have actually had Mads go over to your apartment and slap some sense into you_.’

Dean’s brow creased momentarily in confusion before he snapped his fingers. ‘Oh yeah! Madison! You still with her? How in the hell is _that_ going?’

He could almost hear Sam’s incredulous eyebrow movements through the phone. ‘ _Yes, I’m still with her! God, Dean, you’re such a dick_.’

‘We’ve already been through why my comments are valid, Samantha. C’mon, really, how’s it going?’

Sam paused for a moment and Dean could still hear the clattering of a wooden spoon sloppily stirring a pot of what he assumed would be rabbit food. ‘ _Good… Really good_ _,_ _actually. Nothing’s felt this great since Jess and we all thought that was a sure-fire thing, right_?’

‘Yeah, we _thought_ , now look at Madison’s finger and tell me that’s not the same engagement ring that was on Jess’.’

‘ _Dick_ ,’ Sam repeated.

‘Alright, alright. Look, man, I gotta go, just wanted to let you know how it went.’

‘ _’Kay. Let me know if you want me to read through the contracts with you. If Crowley seems weird then… who the hell knows what hidden agreements he’s put in there_.’

‘Shit! Yeah, that would be good.’ Dean bit his lip, suddenly anxious.

‘ _You’d be in serious crap and would probably be somebody’s bitch if you didn’t have me around to remind you of these things, Dean_ ,’ Sam sighed long-sufferingly.

‘Yeah, yeah, you’re a life saver, want me to butter you up any more, bitch?’

Sam tittered and muttered, ‘ _Bye, jerk_ ’ before hanging up, leaving Dean smiling as he reached his building and turned the key in the lock.


	5. Ain't Nothing Please Me More Than You

Dean grabbed his ringing phone off the coffee table without taking his eyes off the screen. He always needed to give _Seven_ his full attention.

‘Yo.’

‘ _Oh hey, bro, whazzup_?’

Dean rolled his eyes and pressed pause on his remote. ‘Charlie. Hey.’

‘ _Heya, homie._ ’

‘Are you seriously gonna keep this up? “Yo” is a perfectly normal greeting,’ Dean groaned, yawning and rubbing tiredly at his eyes. He frowned and glanced down at his watch. ‘What the- Charlie, why the hell you callin’ me at 2AM?’

There was a short gap before Charlie spoke, ‘ _I just shrugged and then remembered you can’t see me, whoops._ ’

‘You drunk?’ he asked bluntly.

‘ _Uh, no, I just…_ ’ Dean knitted his brow as he picked up on Charlie’s suddenly dejected tone.

‘Charlie?’

‘ _Look, it’s Jo… Well… we had a fight and I was just wondering_ -‘

‘Of course you can crash here, get your ass over here and let me finish this movie,’ Dean said softly, hanging up and then jumping at how quickly his apartment buzzer went off. ‘Son of a bitch.’

‘ _Hey_.’

‘You coulda told me you were outside, I nearly had a goddamn heart attack! Jesus.’

‘ _Let me in_!’ Charlie whined. ‘ _It’s cold out here_.’

‘I don’t know why you couldn’t have just used your key,’ Dean grumbled but buzzed her in, trudging back to his sofa and playing the film again. ‘It’s open!’ he yelled when he heard the light tap of Charlie knocking on the door. He braced himself to expect anything from an overly hyperactive Charlie to an incredibly teary Charlie, and prepared himself to be able to comfort either extreme.

When she entered, her face gave away none of how much she was obviously hurt by her fight with Jo, she simply looked sheepish and held up a battered box of donuts as an offering. Dean couldn’t let the perfect opportunity go to waste.

‘What’s in the box?’ he sang, grinning wildly at his friend. She scrunched her brow and halted. Dean’s face fell. ‘Dude, no way.’

‘Huh?’

‘Wait, you _haven’t_ seen this movie?’ Dean asked in a dumbfounded tone. When Charlie shook her head, Dean gasped and fell back against the sofa. ‘No way, give me a donut and park your ass on the couch, we’re watching this,’ he ordered, picking up the remote and bringing it back to the DVD menu.

‘You already just watched most of it, you don’t have to start it again.’

‘We’re watching this, right the heck now.’ Charlie grinned at Dean and how he was hunched up right against the sofa arm in his sweat pants and the Black Widow tee she’d gifted him. ‘Psh, and you call yourself a nerd,’ Dean tutted, sounding disgusted, but he only made Charlie feel more grateful to have him as her friend. He was fully experienced with running away from his problems and so was the perfect distraction for her.

Later, when their eyelids were drooping and the DVD menu was on its twelfth loop due to them both being too lazy to turn it off, Charlie decided to deal with what was on her mind.

‘Jo’s mom wants her to move back to South Dakota.’

Dean’s eyebrows rose and he lolled his head to the side to look at her. ‘Seriously?’

‘Mmhmm, and she’s considering it. Her mom’s always been able to wear her down…’

‘Jo’s a tough bitch, man, she wouldn’t cave.’

Charlie let out a light snort and pulled her legs up onto the sofa. ‘Yeah, she is, and I love her for it but… with her mom it’s different. Ellen’s just as tough as her, if not tougher. I’m worried she’ll… I’m worried she’ll split. Again.’

Dean sighed as he remembered the last time Jo and Charlie’s otherwise flawless relationship had been on the rocks. Jo had had a sudden commitment freak out and had ended up sleeping on Dean’s couch for a night before sneaking off to her mother’s. Charlie had been heartbroken and had actually been the reason why Dean had turned down the job that Castiel had gotten in his place. He didn’t blame her for it, just felt pissed in general at the timing of everything.

‘I know you think she won’t stay, hell, if I were in your position I’d think that too. But, if I know Jo, and I do unfortunately, she loves you and won’t leave. Just give her time to sort stuff out with her family. She’s not gonna leave,’ Dean reassured, placing his hand on Charlie’s leg and squeezing it gently.

A slow smile spread across Charlie’s lips and she nudged Dean with her foot. ‘Your wisdom comes most fluently when you’re tired, Winchester.’

‘As it does with all the great ones, Bradbury.’

Charlie’s happy grin sobered some and her eyes were sincere as she locked her gaze with Dean’s. ‘Thank you. I mean it.’

Dean bumped her leg with his knee and grinned at her, barely keeping his eyes open. ‘Hey, it’s nothing. I couldn’t exactly leave you outside the building. I’m sure you whining through the speaker would have eventually driven me insane.’

‘Come on, let’s get some sleep, you gotta have your energy levels up for Thursday’s meetin’ with Constantine’s long lost twin.’

Dean smirked and settled back against the couch cushions. ‘ _Constantine_ was a good movie,’ he mumbled, only half conscious. Sure, he’d regret sleeping on the couch in the morning. He’d also regret leaving the DVD title menu on full volume. And he’d probably also regret letting Charlie park her feet right next to his head. But if anyone was good at ignoring problems until they were absolutely impossible to ignore, it was Dean Winchester.

*

‘Dean, I’m sure you’ve seen his glorious mug on multiple billboards and know exactly who he is, but this is Castiel Novak.’

‘Please, call me Cas.’

The _call me Cas_ caused Dean to practically melt. He blatantly stared at the other man who had outstretched his hand after Gabriel, the man who’d be directing, elbowed him in the ribs.

Dean was startled out of his weird out of focus stare when he noticed both Gabriel and _Cas_ were looking at him strangely. ‘Oh! Hey, sorry, yeah, good to meet you, man.’

He clasped his hand and bit the inside of his cheek to keep from blurting out some ridiculous comment on how soft Cas’ hand was.

‘Okay so me ‘n Hannah over there are gonna oversee this thing. You’ve pretty much got a place on the team, Dean, but we just want to make sure you’re not actually shit with Cas, in which case you won’t get the job.’

‘Thanks for the vote of confidence.’

‘I am but a ball of optimism, Dean-o, now c’mon, let’s see what you’ve got.’

Dean gulped and glanced over at Castiel as Gabriel made his way to the back of the room, joining a serene looking woman in a navy blazer. He looked over at them and smiled sheepishly before clearing his throat.

‘Oh, yeah, here’s a script,’ Gabriel muttered, scurrying back over to Dean and handing him a much glossier version of the one he’d left in his apartment before he could even think about protesting. ‘So, flick to page 21 and we’ll go from there.’

Both actors shuffled the pages until they landed on the correct one. Castiel coughed lightly and licked his lips, instantly drawing Dean’s eyes to track the movement.

‘Michael, I haven’t been… honest with you,’ Cas whispered and Dean almost choked as the other man gazed up at him from under his lashes.

He glanced down at his script for reassurance more than anything else. ‘I don’t understand.’

‘It might be better if I just show you.’

 _Oh yeah,_ it was _this_ scene. ‘Jim-‘ Dean was cut off by Cas pressing his lips to his and gripping the back of his head. The way Cas’ nails lightly scratched the short strands of hair there made Dean feel like he was dying, and he decided to convey that with his performance. Gabriel had probably purposefully picked out this scene as it lacked pretty much everything _but_ an intense make out sequence.

Dean almost dropped the script as he wound his arms around Castiel’s waist and pulled him closer. From what the stage directions had indicated, Michael was supposed to respond almost immediately and then they were supposed to just keep going until… well, until Gabriel made a move to stop them and end the scene. For some reason, Dean doubted he ever would, given the choice. Eventually Dean lost himself in the kiss and it became just like kissing any other of his romantic conquests, it was natural and probably looked real to their onlookers. Which would clearly win him points when it came down to debating who was going to get the role.

When they pulled away from each other and looked into each other’s eyes, a silence cocooned them which nobody in the room was willing to break, whether it was in shock or otherwise. Finally, Gabriel decided to speak.

‘Well, let’s just say that didn’t _not_ lack chemistry. Jesus Christ,’ he said, fanning himself with his own copy of the script. ‘Short and sweet but I think that scene was a great, executive choice on my part. Well, Dean, my man, we shall be in touch.’

Dean’s answering grin was blinding and only accentuated by his kiss bitten lips and dreamy expression. He didn’t dare look at Castiel just yet, for fear he looked completely normal in comparison, or worse, wore the exact same expression as Dean.

*

As soon as Sam walked out of Crowley’s office he spotted his brother leaning against the adjacent wall. He was nervously biting at his nails, a habit he usually cringed at, and glancing around, his gaze never landing on any one thing for more than a few seconds.

‘Dude, there were _so_ many loopholes, he would’ve crushed you.’

Dean raised his eyebrows and worried his bottom lip between his teeth, letting his arm fall down beside him. ‘So… I can’t take the job? I'd kinda like to kiss Cas again.’ He laughed weakly and continued looking around.

Sam rolled his eyes and clapped his older brother on the shoulder. ‘I’m a badass lawyer, dipshit, I talked him ‘round.’

Dean let out a disbelieving laugh. ‘Huh?’

‘I can’t believe you doubted me, dude. That smug little bastard backed down pretty quick but he’ll probably be holding a grudge against you. Still, we looked over the contracts again and I edited a whole lot, compromised at some points, but yeah, you’re good to sign them.’

‘Thanks, Sammy,’ Dean said with a huge, grateful grin.

‘Don’t mention it. Anyway, if he’d made you his bitch, the way the contracts were written, I’d probably be affected too. So don’t think of this as such a selfless act, think of it more as me saving my own ass and yours by extension.’

‘Sorry, I meant _no_ thanks, you selfish asshole.’

Sam snorted but was suddenly serious, eyeing Dean cautiously. ‘Hey, uh… Did you happen to say anything about your sexuality to him?’

‘No, why?’ Dean’s gut told him he already knew the answer.

‘Because he kinda threatened to out you.’

‘That son of a bitch,’ Dean hissed, gritting his teeth. ‘He say why?’

Sam shrugged loosely. ‘Not really, he just seemed to wanna show off his hold on you. _But_ , did you even know what Crowley’s position in the company was?’

Dean’s eyebrows pulled together and he started walking after Sam down the corridor. ‘Uh, I guess not… I mean, I thought he was the head of it or somethin’. He’s not?’

Sam shook his head with a grin. ‘He has practically no power when it comes to making decisions.’

‘What the fuck? Why did I have to meet up with him, then?’

Sam’s smile only grew as he tittered. ‘Basically, he’s the big boss’ bitch.’

‘You’ve been cussing more… Is this Madison negatively influencing you, little brother?’ Dean reached up to ruffle Sam's hair and genuinely relished seeing his brother’s happy face morph into a more familiar bitch face. ‘Nah, go on, tell me more, Sammy boy.’

‘You’re such a jerk, I don’t even know why I try and supply you with useful information.’

‘You love me,’ Dean answered simply, barely even admitting to himself how happy he felt when Sam didn’t even try to deny it.

With that, Sam began using even more wild hand gestures than normal to accompany his speech. Dean scarcely stifled a snigger at his gigantor brother’s dorky movements. ‘Look, there’s this scary big boss, Josie Sands, who’s in charge of literally everything, somehow. Like, she’s in charge of production, oversees the writing process, gets a final say over _everything_. So she doesn’t deal with the people she’s hiring face to face - that's Crowley's job. She doesn’t really have time and basically just thinks of this whole business she has as a sort of assembly line with the outcome being profits that are fed straight to her.’

Dean frowned. ‘Sounds complicated. And _how_ exactly did you find all this out, Sherlock?’

Sam rolled his eyes. ‘Crowley started to ‘fess up when I threatened him with a law suit ‘cause he was putting a bunch of stupid shit in with the contracts that I was pretty sure hadn’t been approved or looked over by anyone else _and_ tried to threaten you.’

‘Okay, remind me to not allow you to watch anymore low budget TV shows, because I _never_ wanna hear you say “ _’fess up_ ” un-ironically again, period.’

‘You’re welcome, man, no, don’t worry about it, it’s fine, I’d work for free anytime for my big brother,’ Sam mumbled sardonically, sauntering ahead of Dean, his longer legs giving him an unfair advantage.

‘Hey, wait up, you fucking… giraffe… man?’ Dean gave up on coining a genius insult that would stick and sighed before speed walking after Sam.


	6. Under My Skin

**Month 1**

Closing his eyes against the harsh winter sun, Dean felt like he could block out the world. But he couldn’t, not really, because in that moment of peace and nothingness, his alarm began blaring an amalgamation of pop and jazz music that he’d personally put together. After all, he knew himself better than anyone so he knew exactly what would torture him enough to actually get out of bed before seven in the morning.

‘ _Shut the fuck up_ ,’ he groaned hoarsely, begging to whatever God was up there that his Jedi powers would activate and that he could use The Force to shut the stupid thing off instead of having to leave his bed. A few moments later, he caved in and practically leapt across the room to slam his hand down on the alarm, blessedly putting a stop to the horrible sounds.

He was able to dwell in the silence for all of two seconds when his phone started doing its own personal alarm imitation. ‘Oh, come _on_ \- Hello?’

‘ _Dean_! _Just checking you were awake and ready to go_!’

Too male sounding to be Charlie, too chipper to be Sam. ‘Who the hell is this?’

‘ _You mean you don’t remember our steamy night together_?’ The voice sounded put out but there was an amused edge that couldn’t be mistaken.

Dean’s previously confused face flattened out into what could only be described as a ‘done’ expression. ‘Gabriel.’

‘ _Ay-yo, there we go_!’

‘What.’ It wasn’t even a question, just a pissed off reply.

‘ _So I take it you_ are _conscious right now, then_.’

‘Yes, I’m conscious! Christ, okay, _why_ are you calling? And also, how did you get my personal number?’

‘ _I already_ told _you why I’m calling, dumbass. And I have my ways… Charlie associated ways. Okay, bye, see you in an hour_ ,’ Gabriel hurried out, quickly hanging up before Dean could respond. He rolled his eyes and threw his phone back on the bed. He ran a hand through his sleep mussed hair and dragged his feet as he walked to the bathroom.

The shower tap screeched in protest as he twisted it but he’d long since grown used to it and having to exert more force than necessary with a _normal_ shower to get it working. _Should get it fixed_ he thought, idly.

After the temperature had evened out, Dean stepped under the spray and let out an almost pornographic groan. It was fine, he lived alone and the walls were pretty damn thick. He kept the shower short for fear that his thoughts may get too deep and worrying as they always did whenever he was in the cubicle. He never knew why, but he just needed to keep his head clear.

He threw on the first items of clothing his hands came into contact with when he returned to the bedroom, figuring he’d be changing again anyway once he reached the set. After fumbling around trying to get his head through the right hole in his t-shirt, he searched his sheets for his phone and pressed 2 on his speed dial, shoving the cell in the gap between his shoulder and ear as he struggled to get his socks on. Let it never be said that Dean Winchester wasn’t graceful.

‘ _Yeah, yeah, I’m awake, who’s dying_? _Someone_ better _be dying or already dead, Dean, it’s not even seven_ ,’ Charlie said in a croaky voice which told Dean that yes, she was still in bed and yes, he was going to have to drive himself to the studio.

‘Charlie! You were supposed to pick me up and drive me to set!’

‘ _Oh crap, sorry_! _Jo… Jo, stop kissing- Jo_!’ Charlie’s breathy giggles reached Dean’s ear and he barely held back a violent gag.

‘Oh, Jesus! I don’t need to hear that, oh fuck, right, I’ll drive myself and Baby in. Thanks, asshole!’

‘ _Don’t mention it_!’ Charlie replied, more chirpily than before. Then Dean actually did gag and swiftly hung up on her, throwing his phone on the bed for the second time that morning. He decided that if he was actually going to get through the day without telling everyone in his immediate vicinity to fuck off, he’d need caffeine. His poor coffee machine was going to have a breakdown sometime in the near future, he could just feel it.

*

Gabriel had actually attempted to cheer Dean up, giving him a powdered donut as soon as he stepped out of his car. Dean suspected he’d poisoned it in some way or another, but couldn’t really bring himself to care; it’s free food, man, he’ll take it when he can even if he _could_ afford it himself. Plus, it was too early for him to think too much into it.

Maybe Gabriel had given it to him just so he could laugh when Dean greeted Cas with half of the damn thing around his mouth. Dean smiled sheepishly at Castiel and wiped fruitlessly at his face, trying to get rid of the powder, but it was stubborn stuff, apparently.

Cas chuckled lightly at Dean’s movements and shook his head. ‘Don’t worry, that happens to me all the time when Gabriel buys me them. Carmen’ll sort you out.’

‘Carmen?’

Castiel nodded and pointed over at the make-up trailer. ‘She’s an all-round goddess when it comes to make-up and wardrobe... Also donut issues, I suppose. She worked on the last set I was on.’ Dean smiled and looked down at his shoes, not sure how to act. Poor choice of wording, but still true; Cas made him nervous. Castiel seemed to sense that, fortunately or unfortunately, and bit his lip, glancing around before finally settling his eyes back on Dean. ‘Have you been in your trailer yet?’

Dean frowned slightly but quickly schooled his features. ‘Nah, I just got here.’

Castiel suddenly looked alarmed and stepped back from Dean. ‘Oh! I do apologise, I’ll let you settle in.’

A snicker left Dean’s lips before he could stop it and at Cas’ small, almost hurt look, he hastily tried to stop Cas’ thoughts from going down the wrong route. Jesus, he’d been on the premises for barely even twenty minutes and he’d already showed Cas how messy an eater he was and also made him think Dean didn’t want to be around him. ‘No, no, that’s not what I meant! Ugh, I mean, I like talking to you?’ Cas cocked an eyebrow and Dean was sure he could see amusement in his eyes. He pursed his lips before changing the subject. ‘What time are we shooting? I forgot.’

Cas smiled and shifted his weight from one leg to the other. ‘Not for another half hour.’

Dean slowly inclined his head and copied Cas’ movements subconsciously. The air between them was starting to grow awkward, so they were both grateful for Gabriel’s presence when he virtually barrelled into them both. ‘Hey, guys! How are my two favourite little movie stars doing?’

‘Dude, you’re shorter than both of us, if anyone’s little, it’s you,’ Dean pointed out, laughing to himself at the pout Gabriel replied with.

‘Technicalities,’ he grumbled, slapping his hand on Dean’s shoulder, causing the taller man to flinch. ‘Now, as you can see, my golden child Cassie, here, is already dressed. Get your ass into wardrobe right this minute. You’re lucky you don’t need much make-up on for today.’

Dean nodded dutifully and swivelled around on his heel,

In the end it took almost forty five minutes for Dean to reappear from inside the trailer, instantly being greeted by an impatient Gabriel and an anxious looking Castiel. Apparently the guy just liked to hover around.

‘Dean, you gotta stop looking so nervous. Cas isn’t gonna bite yet!’

Both of the actors rolled their eyes and then glanced at each other self-consciously. Dean silently willed his usual smooth, flirtatious self to make an appearance, but it never did and he continued looking at Cas with an air of apprehension until Gabriel struck them both around the backs of their heads and ushered them towards set.

*

Day two and Dean was starting to experience the beginnings of an itch under his skin. It wasn’t the kind of itch that he felt could be quelled by running away from the set and Castiel altogether, it was more of the opposite - a need. A need for Castiel to be either under him and panting, or next to him waxing poetic; it was confusing and fucking irritating. He could only imagine the scale of the frustration by the end of the whole six months they’d allotted to film in.

Cas had been a complete gentlemen, the bastard, in the short time he’d been in his presence; all romantic and smiles and _eyes and voice_ and- Dean groaned and pressed the tips of his fingers firmly against his eyes and shook his head. Of course, the romantic part of that had been fake because, well, Cas’ character had a major crush on Dean’s character at the stage they were filming. But still, Dean felt he could take it any way he wanted. Cas also talked weirdly sometimes, as if he hadn’t been completely taught how to speak in a relaxed manner, using words that you generally found after searching for synonyms of a simpler word.

Dean sighed and tapped his script erratically against his thigh, as he’d been doing for the past five minutes. He jumped as his phone buzzed, breaking him out of his trance. He fished the cell out of his pocket and squinted at the screen.

_[Message received from_ **_Charlie_ ** _at 11:36]_

_dinner w/ me + jo later??_

He immediately sent back a reply, accepting the offer.Charlie’s food was pretty spectacular and Jo always had alcohol on her so Dean could count on getting at least a little bit drunk. The perfect distraction from his confusing, and frankly annoying, feelings.

Dean chewed on his bottom lip and then grabbed his nearly cold coffee off the side table in his trailer. Ever the social butterfly, Dean had elected to spend his short break hidden away in his trailer with a pitcher of coffee. He could feel a headache coming on as he scanned his eyes over his lines for the day for the fiftieth time.

‘Fuck.’ It just wasn’t going in but Dean wasn’t about to admit defeat and let Gabriel know. He thought that if he could just get through the day and hopefully complete the scene, he could forget about the rest of his life and focus on his night as a voluntary third wheel with Charlie and Jo. If anything, he could fuck up monumentally enough each time that it would at least be a good contribution to the gag reel. His eyes flicked down to his watch and widened. He downed the last gulp of his coffee and practically shot out of his trailer, eager to get the scene over with even if it meant being distracted multiple times by how the stage lights reflected off Cas’ irises.

*

‘Beer!’ Dean announced in lieu of a greeting, holding up the case to back up his word.

Jo beamed at him and dragged him in for a hug. The petite blonde was strong as hell and nearly crushed him to death. ‘Feels like I haven’t seen you in _years_ , Dean, where the hell’ve you been?’

‘Hey! It’s not my fault that you don’t invite me ‘round anymore, Joanna Beth, I don’t want to intrude,’ he said, doing his best Cas impression towards the end of the sentence, feeling proud of himself even if he knew Jo wouldn’t pick it up.

She rolled her eyes and dragged him by the arm into the house. Jo and Charlie’s place was a lot nicer than Dean’s but he supposed he could upsize as they’d done if he wanted to. Then the thought of how fucking lonely he was in an apartment anyway drifted into his head, and how elevated would that be if he had a whole _house_ to himself?

‘Is the potpourri too strong?’ Charlie asked as Dean came into view.

He scrunched his eyebrows together. ‘What?’

‘It’s just that you look like someone severely offended you and /or slaughtered your first born. I just changed the… stuff… so I thought it might be that?’ Charlie shrugged as she placed a tray of garlic bread on the table. Dean sniffed the air and then his brow wrinkled even more.

‘Wow, okay, now that you mention it, that’s pretty damn strong.’

‘Shut up! I like it. And anyway, it covers the smell of Jo’s perfume.’

Jo’s eyebrows shot up and she glared at her girlfriend. ‘You coulda’ said something! I only buy that crap to seem more mature, or whatever.’

Then it was Dean’s turn to raise his eyebrows. ‘More mature? Since when have you and being mature even been in the same ball park?’

She slapped Dean’s arm sharply and then crossed her arms. ‘Not that you need to know, Winchester, but I’ve made some changes. So’s Charlie. Don’t know if she’s been blabbing to you about it, though.’

Charlie grinned over at Jo as she re-entered the dining room with a small bowl of what looked like crushed spices and herbs. ‘I haven’t said anything. I’ve been too shocked to tell anyone, really.’

‘ _Anyway_ ,’ Jo said with a fond smirk and an eye roll. ‘I thought I’d try and get Charlie to throw out some comic books and those weird little plastic toys-‘

Dean physically winced at Jo’s words and noticed that Charlie had too. ‘Ouch.’

‘Jo, they’re _collectables_ , not toys! How many freaking times-‘

‘Sorry! Sorry. Well, as you’ve guessed, that’s not happening.’

‘This is so weird, are you sure I’m in the right house?’ Dean asked, scratching his head. ‘Oh _god_ , no way is that wine on the table.’

Jo nodded her head gravely. ‘Yep, Dean, if I’m gonna try and get my head straight and sophisticated, all I’m drinking is this good quality… row-jo shit.’

‘You can’t even pronounce it. Oh, man, I’m almost speechless here. I’m gonna stick to my beer, thanks.’ His eyes bugged momentarily and he dragged a chair out from under the table and parked himself in it, looking up at Charlie and Jo. ‘So is someone gonna tell me what brought this on, or are you just gonna keep glancing at each other like you want me to leave?’

Charlie scoffed and folded her arms. ‘No one wants you to leave, Dean. It’s just-‘

‘You know that whole mom fiasco that went down about a month ago?’

‘ _Fiasco_? Jesus, you are taking this thing seriously.’

‘Shut _up_ , dude! I’m trying to explain my epiphany.’

‘Sorry, okay, yes I remember.’ Dean barely repressed a snigger.

Jo rolled her bottom lip between her teeth and gazed over at Charlie for a moment, allowing a warm smile to break out over her face for a second before it slipped away again. ‘Well, yeah, I freaked out again. And mom wasn’t helping, telling me she missed me and all and how the bar was lonely without me, blah blah blah, yeah, so Ellen’s not as tough as we thought she was and she’s all sad and shit and wanted me to be more dependent on her.’ Jo took in a large gulp of air before continuing. ‘Anyway, I figure, nah, I’ve been too dependent on her anyway, I need to fucking grow up and realise that Charlie here needs a grownup, not a kid.’

‘There are obvious positives to that,’ Charlie muttered.

Dean sat back in his chair and stared disbelievingly at the women in front of him. ‘Okay… Uh, I… I’m gonna ask again, _do I have the right house_?’

‘Dean!’ It was Charlie who chastised him that time.

‘Sorry! Shit… Well… I guess… congrats for moving out of your… phase? I don’t really know what to say in this situation.’ Dean scratched the back of his neck and looked between the two smiling women in front of him.

‘I’d have actually preferred it if you kept your mouth shut, but we don’t always get what we want. Anyway, wine?’

‘Blergh,’ Dean and Charlie groaned at the same time, smirking at each other afterwards.

Jo chuckled and slumped into an available chair, pouring herself a glass. ‘Shit tastes good after a few weeks of force feeding it to yourself, you should try it.’


	7. I Got Love on My Fingers, Lust on My Tongue

Dean gulped. ‘The sex scene’s _today_?’

Charlie laughed at him. ‘Yep, they film stuff out of order, remember, Mr Movie Star?’

Dean barely kept himself from slamming his head against his trailer wall. Fuck. He was fucked.

‘I’ve known him for, like, two days! Charlie, I can’t do this, what the hell was I thinking?!’

Charlie put a hand over her mouth to stop the laugh that was threatening to echo around the trailer.

‘I’m gonna get a fuckin’ _real_ boner or some- don’t you dare laugh at me- or something, he’s gonna hate me, it won’t look right, I’ll be awful, it-‘

‘Dean, calm down! You’re an actor, you do this for a living,’ Charlie chuckled. ‘It’ll be fine. You’ll know what to do.’

Dean stopped pacing and stared at Charlie. ‘I’ll _know what to do_ , how?!’

‘Oh, you know, just the fact that you’re a massive slut sort of leads me to believe you know your way around _that_ area.’

He cleared his throat and collapsed on the sofa. ‘Yeah, but that’s when I’m _actually_ going to stick my dick in them.’

Charlie nearly fell over laughing. ‘Dean, stop worrying, oh my god. Maybe he wouldn’t mind you doing that to him.’

‘Charlie, c’mon, this is a movie, not a porno.’

‘I know, but we could up the PG rating.’

Dean rolled his eyes. ‘It’s not PG, apparently no kid can deal with gay people… Or gay people fucking.’

Charlie shook her head fondly and walked across the trailer to the door. ‘Don’t forget the lube, Casanova!’ she called before leaving.

Dean groaned, closed his eyes and then covered his face with his hands, trying to control his heavy breathing. He jumped when someone knocked on the door and got up to open it.

‘Uh, hi?’

A tall, thin guy wearing large headphones and holding a clip board looked up at him with big eyes. ‘Mr Winchester, you’re needed on set. Have you changed yet?’

Dean looked down at his outfit. Oh he’d changed alright. His tight black jeans hugged his legs uncomfortably and the V-neck shirt, something he’d never normally wear, was also far too constricting. Oh yeah, If he popped an actual boner, he was screwed.

‘Yep.’

The tall guy grinned wolfishly and grabbed his arm, dragging him away from the trailer. ‘Mr Novak’s waiting for you.’

Dean’s eyes widened. ‘G-great. Yeah… great.’ Dean swallowed loudly and then squeezed his eyes closed, allowing the other man to direct him to the set.

When he opened his eyes he found himself in the same room as Castiel. Castiel who was wearing tight dark blue jeans and a baggy lighter blue cotton shirt. ‘Shit,’ he murmured, gulping.

‘Hi, Dean,’ Cas greeted with a wide grin. Yep, his hair was still artfully tousled and nope, his eyes weren’t any less beautiful. Dean inwardly chastised himself for his sappy thoughts and forced a warm reply smile.

‘Hey, Cas. You, uh… you ready for this?’ Dean chuckled, slipping into his usually confident self. If he could fake it, it would all be okay.

Castiel nodded and Dean couldn’t help but notice the guy was throwing off waves of nervous energy. ‘Yeah, I suppose. I’ve not done this before.’

Dean raised an eyebrow but then he remembered he was about to shoot a dude on dude sex scene and he shouldn’t have assumed Cas was also bisexual.

He cleared his throat and schooled his expression. ‘Oh yeah? It’s fine. I mean, I know they want your character to take the lead but I could always… lead… if you want? I mean the script for… this scene’s not really specific at all… so…’ Dean said awkwardly, inwardly wincing.

Castiel looked relieved, like the pressure of the world had been lifted off him. ‘Could you? That would be great, it’s just… Yeah, first on-screen, uh, intercourse, I’ve partaken in.’

Dean barely bit back his laugh. ‘You’ll be fine. And hey, if you fuck up I don’t mind going for round two.’

It was just Dean’s luck that Cas laughed, seeing it as a joke rather than a confession. Dean grinned but his breathing hitched as Cas squeezed his arm and smiled. Jesus, if he was reacting to _that_ , what was going to happen when it got down to actually having fake sex? He didn’t even want to think about it.

‘Everyone on set!’ Gabriel called, even though they all knew it was just Dean and Cas. Castiel shot Dean one last feeble smile and practically glided over to the bed that had been set up in the overly extravagant stage bedroom. After staring at Cas’ retreating ass for far too long, Dean looked around the set uneasily, stepping from the plain concrete of the rented warehouse’s floor onto the plush carpet of the decorated room. Cas crawled onto the bed and lay out, ready for Dean to follow suit. Gabriel frowned slightly at the new arrangement – Dean had originally been written to be the submissive one – but yelled ‘Action!’ all the same.

Dean slipped into character seamlessly and smiled cockily at Castiel on the bed. He sauntered towards the prop and all the way felt the prickle on his skin of each of the crew following his movements. He kind of took comfort in the fact that it was a familiar feeling – it was fine, he could do it.

‘Take off your shirt,’ he told Castiel, huskily. He traced the bob of Castiel’s Adam’s apple with his gaze, making his performance all the more believable and allowing the hunger to show on his features. He caught a look of slight doubt cross Castiel’s face but soon he was fully in character too, slipping off the blue cotton and then sinking back into the covers, sliding his arms up the bed and then gripping onto the headboard. There was no mistaking the flash of genuine lust that ran through Dean’s body and smacked him in the gut. He barely stifled a whimper – he could keep it under wraps, he was a professional.

‘C’mere, Michael,’ Cas murmured, one hand letting go of the headboard and reaching out towards Dean. A ridiculous ache blossomed in Dean’s chest at the fact that this wasn’t going to be real, that he was a character and so was Cas, but he ignored it, throwing himself further into the role.

He grinned wolfishly and crawled up the bed, arms bracketing Cas’ form. ‘You sure you want this?’

Dean felt a camera come up behind him, focusing on Cas’ face, and bristled slightly. Cas rolled his eyes and looked up at Dean who was hovering above him. ‘More than anything.’

Dean didn’t hesitate and he crashed their lips together, Castiel lifting his head off the pillow to meet him in the kiss. Dean’s goal was to make it come across as realistic and hot as possible, which was easy for him, but he still wasn’t sure about Cas. He was an amazing actor but, as he’d said, he’d never done anything like this before. Dean moved his mouth against Cas’, liking the feel of the other actor’s slightly chapped lips. The kissing was effortless between them, their tongues dipping into each other’s mouths and their stubble roughly grazing against each other. Dean soon detached himself from Castiel’s mouth and moved to his neck, lightly biting at his skin and then pressing his lips over the barely there marks.

He felt Castiel writhe beneath him and he dragged his calloused hands down the other man’s naked torso, gripping tightly onto his hips, appreciating the muscle underneath his touch.

‘Mmm,’ Cas moaned, sighing and relaxing against the bed sheets. ‘Lose some layers.’

Dean chuckled against Cas’ chest where he’d begun peppering heated kisses over any and all available skin. Dean turned his gaze to Castiel’s flushed face; his eyes were closed and his lips were turned up at the corners. One hand still clutched the headboard so hard that his knuckles were white and the other clasped the short strands of Dean’s hair.

Through a grin, Dean lifted himself up slightly, ripping off the ridiculously tight V-neck before returning to his staged worship of Castiel’s body. Cas, in a completely unexpected move, cupped Dean’s face and drew him back up for a kiss that was all heat and pure want. Dean almost forgot that the whole damn movie crew were mere metres behind them and didn’t dare think about saying Cas’ character’s name for fear of moaning ‘Castiel’ instead and facing the years of embarrassment that would surely follow _that_ kind of slip up.

They broke apart, panting, and stared at each other for a moment before recalling that they needed to progress with the loose outline of the script. An overconfident smirk drifted across Dean’s lips as his eyes zeroed on Castiel’s kiss bitten ones. His fingertips danced over Castiel’s heated skin as he made his way towards the button of his jeans and then as he placed his hand on Cas’ groin. His breath hitched and Dean inwardly commended the actor for adding that in.

Dean’s teeth shone as he kept eye contact with Cas and leisurely unbuttoned the jeans and then his own, revealing both of their tight black boxers. Dean swallowed and then pressed a more gentle kiss to Castiel’s lips, before yanking down the item of clothing and then his own, throwing the jeans halfway across the room, narrowly missing a camera.

‘Cut! Holy shit, that was magnificent!’ Gabriel screeched and suddenly Dean’s head was back in the room and his skin crawled with how the attention was on him and Castiel. He gave Cas a small, awkward smile before slowly drawing back and then sliding off the bed, looking over at Gabriel with a raised eyebrow.

‘Unfortunately, we don’t need to do another take right now, maybe a couple of angle shots in a few days if needed, but that was hot, guys, well done.’ Gabriel beamed at them, hopping off his director’s chair and ambling up onto the set, glancing between the actors, one of which was still sprawled out on the covers. Dean didn’t even want to think of how fucked out he looked already, favouring to squeeze his eyes shut and will the arousal away.

‘Uh, Gabriel?’ Garth muttered, tapping the director on the shoulder. Gabriel swivelled around and hummed slightly to show he was listening. ‘We still have to do the, uh, the up close scene.’

‘Ohhh, when they’re actually naked? Yeah, okay, Dean, get back on the bed, dude.’

Dean’s eyebrows shot to his hairline and Gabriel laughed at him. ‘Did you even read the script? You didn’t think that was the _whole_ sex scene, did ya? You were still a mile off from popping his on-screen cherry.’

Castiel rolled his eyes and grunted quietly. ‘Gabriel.’

‘C’mon! Actually, get up, we’ve gotta get your cock socks on.’

‘What?’ Dean and Cas both said at the same time, still not making eye contact.

‘Dean, you’ve done this before, haven’t you? Or was my seeing you in that documentary on sex workers, in fact, a dream? Relax! Carmen will just slip it on and then you and Cas grind or somethin’ and then we’re done.’

Dean bit down hard on his bottom lip. Sure, he’d done it before, but not with an actor he’d actually liked before filming or felt such a strong sexual attraction towards. They’d always had time to get to know each other and had felt more comfortable around each other when it came to filming the more intimate scenes. Then again he thought back to how he’d made out with Cas the first time he’d been face to face with him and figured, alright, what the hell.

‘Okay, yeah,’ he grumbled, moving to follow Carmen to the on-set dressing room. Castiel was more reluctant to follow but did so anyway.

When the actors re-emerged, they stared at each other before bursting out laughing. Dean felt slightly more reassured and even grabbed Cas’ bare shoulder.

‘Dude, we’ll be fine,’ he said, chuckling and preventing himself from studying the actor’s figure too closely.

*

Castiel paced the length of his trailer over and over again, chewing anxiously on his bottom lip. Thankfully Gabriel had retreated to the staff trailer, rather than Cas’ as he usually did, to hit on one of the PAs, so Castiel was alone and able to have his freak out in private.

‘Damn,’ he groaned, lightly punching the wall and then leaning his head against the cool surface. He couldn’t deny it to himself that the scene with Dean had been unlike any other he’d ever filmed, and not only because it was his first on-screen sex scene. Dean had genuinely brought a reaction out of him and that completely terrified him.

He strode over to the couch and threw himself down on it, glaring at the ceiling as if it had personally offended him. A scowl etched its way onto his features and he folded his arms over his chest. In some ways, he wished he was still together with Daphne so he could just put these new feelings to the back of his mind and throw himself into his relationship outside of work, but as he thought more about it, he realised it was absurd. For one, it wouldn’t have been fair to Daphne, and two, he knew it wouldn’t have quashed the feeling that was currently swirling around in his chest.

Cas scratched at his stubbled chin and then sat up abruptly. He still had another scene to shoot later in the day with Anna, his on-screen sister. He had to get a hold of his thoughts before he became too much of a confused, frustrated wreck.

He must have been sitting down lost in his thoughts for longer than he realised because the next thing he knew, Gabriel had arrived, his usual abundance of energy seeping into the trailer as soon as he announced himself.

'Cassie, my child, you are due on set currently,’ Gabriel sang as he swung Cas’ trailer door open.

‘Gabriel! A little warning before you barge in like that would be fantastic.’

‘Dude, that request has never had any effect whatsoever on what I do in all the years you have known me, so I don’t get why you don’t just accept it and move on.’

Castiel frowned. ‘I’m glad you’re at least aware of your inconsiderate tendencies.’

Gabriel stayed in the doorway, studying Cas’ hunched over form. He chewed on his lower lip before he stepped inside further. ‘You okay, bro?’

Cas’ head shot up and a panicked expression adorned his features. ‘What?’

‘Are you alright? You seem a little spooked… Missing Daphne troubles?’

Castiel rolled his eyes and flopped back against the couch cushions. ‘No. Worse.’

He decided that if he was going to deal with his feelings, he’d definitely need someone’s help in sorting through them; he’d never been good at working through his problems by himself – whenever he tried, everything seemed to go completely wrong. Gabriel had always been there for him before, with them becoming firm friends and sharing a lot of their thoughts with each other. He knew he trusted Gabriel, even if this was kind of a weird situation to discuss with someone so close to the matter. But he also knew he’d be practical about dealing with it.

Gabriel then frowned and made his way over to join Cas on the sofa. ‘Cas?’

And that was all the prompt he needed to start telling Gabriel about what was going on with him. ‘I think I’m developing feelings for Dean.’

The shorter man’s eyebrows immediately shot up and he let out a long breath, slumping back into the couch just as Castiel had. ‘What? I didn’t even really know you weregay.’

Castiel shrugged, unbothered. ‘I’m not, I just don’t really care about gender, never have. Sorry I never indicated that I was anything but straight.’ He added the last part with a hint of sarcasm.

‘Nah, man, don’t worry. I kind of assumed anyway.’

‘Really?’ Cas’ eyebrows knitted together as he thought through his past same sex relationships and whether or not he had in any way flaunted them with Gabriel present.

Gabriel nodded. ‘Oh yeah. You and James? Weren’t as subtle as you thought.’ He breathed out a laugh and shook his head.

‘James? That was _years_ ago, you’ve suspected it all this time?!’ Gabriel nodded again and smiled at his friend. Cas was simply frustrated at himself, he’d thought he’d been careful with him but evidently not. ‘And you didn’t even ask me about it?’

‘I mean I made a couple of gay jokes that were just about as discreet as your relationships but I thought I’d let you tell me when you wanted to. Why _didn’t_ you tell me? Afraid I wouldn’t like you anymore?’ He chuckled, tone light and not accusatory but Cas still detected a hint of rejection in his voice, something only someone who knew Gabriel inside out could identify as the guy was insanely good at hiding his emotions.

‘No! Not at all, I just… didn’t think it was of import, I don’t know…’

‘Oh, Cas, I thought I’d effectively taught you not to talk like a tool!’ Castiel smacked his arm and looked away, grinning to himself. ‘Don’t ever think that though,’ he said more softly, picking at his sleeve in an incredibly nervous, out of character gesture.

‘Don’t think what?’

‘That you can’t tell me stuff. Or that I’d stop being your friend over anything.’

Cas smiled sadly and put his hand on top of Gabe’s. ‘Of course not.’

Gabriel looked back at Cas with an equal amount of care before his trademark smirk was back in place. ‘Cas, this is getting a little gay.’

Castiel laughed and removed his hand, standing up suddenly. ‘You said something about needing to be on set?’

*

‘Heya, Cas!’ Anna greeted enthusiastically.

‘Hey,’ Castiel answered, accepting her hug with ease.

‘You ready to act all sibling-y?’

‘I don’t know… do I have a choice in the matter?’

Anna tried to fight back a smile by squishing her lips together. She lightly punched his arm and dragged him onto set, finally letting out a giggle. ‘No, you don’t.’

‘Oh, damn,’ he replied without any cruelty. She smiled again and he took a moment to appreciate how beautiful she was, happy like that, even in the weird uniform she was dressed in: a red and white pinstripe shirt with matching trousers and even garish red braces. Her bright hair was scraped back into a neat ponytail, mostly hidden beneath a visor.

‘Alright, get ready for some ball washing!’ Gabriel shouted from where he’d taken a seat behind the camera. He wasn’t too far off as Anna’s character’s job was in a kid’s restaurant which most likely had a ball pit somewhere, but it didn’t stop both Anna and Castiel from rolling their eyes. They could have actually been mistaken as siblings from how alike the action was.

‘Positions, everyone,’ Hannah called to the extras, Cas, and Anna. They smiled at each other as Anna took her place behind the counter and Cas walked to the door.

‘Three… t- Action!’ Gabriel truly thought he was hilarious, clever and professional.

‘H-Hi!’ Anna stuttered. ‘No, wait, I’m doing it again. Gabriel, can you be normal and nice for once, please? You’re throwing me off my A-game!’

Gabriel let out a full body laugh and then beamed over at Anna. ‘What A-game’s that?’

‘My _acting A-game_. If I didn’t have it, you wouldn’t have hired me.’

‘Alright, alright, from the top… not that we ever got past the top to begin with but here we go, keep rolling.’

Cas shook his head at his friend and looked heavenward before shaking out his arms and shuffling on his feet.

‘Cas, you done with your shake down or do you need a minute?’ Gabriel asked.

‘Shut up, I’m ready,’ Castiel grumbled, biting his cheek to keep from smiling.

‘Action!’

‘Jimmy? Hi…’ Anna said, looking over at him with suspicion. ‘What are you doing here?’

Castiel sauntered forward, glancing around him. ‘I didn’t know you worked here.’

Anna’s lips were pursed as she stared at him, ripping a napkin absently. ‘Oh.’ Cas cocked an eyebrow and leant on the counter once he reached it. ‘Well, this is a _family_ restaurant, so I can’t think why you’d find yourself here.’

Castiel pressed his lips together and nodded at the sharp comment, tapping distractedly on the countertop. ‘I was gonna book a table, actually.’

Anna frowned and glared at him. ‘Why?’

‘I’ve been seeing someone and their nephew’s visiting.’

‘You never told me,’ Anna replied icily, sweeping away the pieces of scattered napkin.

‘You didn’t give me a chance to,’ Cas responded with a slightly sad tone, continuing to tap against the hard plastic.

‘So… who is she?’

‘Ah,’ Cas swallowed and flicked his eyes over everywhere but Anna. ‘ _She_ has a dick.’

‘Cut! Fuck- Cas! Stick to the script you’re supposed to be talking to the _Ice Queen_ , not _me_!’ Gabriel grumbled. Anna was shaking with stifled laughter, amusement in her eyes. Castiel grinned back and then shrugged over at Gabriel.

‘Sorry.’

‘Okay, take it from… Anna, say your line again, alright, action!’

‘Give me some time to get back into bitch mode, jeez!’ Anna whined, turning to face the wall away from Cas and breathing in deeply a few times. As soon as she turned around again toward Castiel she burst out laughing, leaning over the counter with the force of it.

‘ _Cas_!’ Gabriel groaned, letting his head fall into his palms.


	8. November Was White

The icy cold of the Chicago winter was chilling Dean to the bone, even with the thick layers wardrobe had thankfully supplied him with. Dean bitterly wished he was back in LA, completely resenting having to film another week’s worth of scenes on location. They'd already been in the city for two weeks, and almost the entire time they'd been either cooped up in a hotel room or been told to stand around in the snow and force out their lines through chapped lips. Needless to say, Dean was miserable and cold with the only things keeping him sane being the food there and the image of Cas sporting snow dusted hair and a red nose.

‘Dean! Good to see you again!’

‘Benny, how are ya?’ Dean stood up from where he’d been slouching in his chair in his thick coat and accepted the hug Benny pulled him into. He quietly wheezed as Benny squeezed him; he was a strong motherfucker, but Dean wasn’t going to tell him that. He knew from experience with Benny that showing a sign of weakness would not bode well and he’d only hug tighter.

‘I’ve been good, how ‘bout you?’

Dean smiled slightly at the generic turn of conversation but answered anyway. ‘Ah, yeah, I’ve been doin’ okay. Landed this,’ he said, gesturing around him at the shivering crew. Benny chuckled and slapped Dean’s shoulder.

‘It’s good to see ya.’

‘Hell yeah it is. We should-‘

‘Although your little bromantic reunion here is positively _heart-warming_ , we gotta start shooting before I freeze my gonads off,’ Gabriel commented, making a show of rubbing his hands together. Dean wanted to point out to him that they _all_ were fucking freezing but still wanted to at least _try_ to maintain an upbeat and sociable atmosphere. He reminded himself to buy Gabriel some candy or alcohol later on in an attempt to lift his sour mood.

‘Okay, Amanda, you picking up any interference?’ Hannah, the short brown haired woman Dean remembered from the chemistry read and various scenes they'd shot, asked the even smaller blonde woman manning the sound boom. Amanda squinted and drew her eyebrows together.

‘There’s a little bit of a breeze but other than that, nothing we can’t take care of in editing.’

‘Great. Gabriel, we’re ready.’

‘Thank our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Dean, Benny, get on your markers.’

Dean rolled his eyes and reluctantly shucked off his top layer and shuffled over to where Benny was stood, laughing at him. Dean merely flipped him off and prayed that the expected snow fall would hold off until he was safely back in his warm trailer.

*

‘Cas is just this _angel_ that-‘

‘Cut!’ Gabriel yelled, voice filled with exasperation. Even the plume of condensation that fell from his mouth looked like it was pissed off at Dean and he could only guess what he’d done wrong. ‘ _Dean_ , you said Cas _again_. Let’s just…’ Gabriel’s eyes travelled from Benny to Dean and back again. ‘Guys, take five, we’ll pick up from the top of the page and goddammit, Dean, it’s _Jimmy_.’

Dean rubbed his hand over his forehead, letting out a frustrated groan, and resignedly trudged over to where he’d last thrown his script. His left eye pulsed as he glanced over his lines again; he’d been falling behind on sleep, and his shitty mood wasn’t being alleviated in any way thanks to the cold.

‘Hey, brother,’ Benny grunted, coming up behind Dean to place a hand on his shoulder. ‘Don’t worry about it too much. I know you’ve probably got a lot on your plate.’

Dean shook his head and turned to face his co-star. ‘I keep messing up! I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.’

‘It’s just saying his name, not that big of a deal,’ Benny reassured, condensation clouding from his lips as he spoke.

‘I know but it’s not even gag reel funny and Gabriel looks so fucking pissed off,’ Dean said, nodding over to where the man was agitatedly pacing back and forth with his phone pressed to his ear.

Benny shrugged and pursed his lips. ‘Don’t worry about Gabe, Dean. He just gets frustrated when he’s cold, like we all do. Just focus on what you’re saying, it’ll come.’

Dean shot Benny a small smile and then glanced down at his script again. ‘Thanks, man. I actually feel better.’

‘No problem. Now just get the damn name right!’ he rumbled, chuckling to show he wasn’t actually angry at Dean.

He could always count on Benny to lift his spirits; he remembered that they’d actually been pretty good friends when they’d been filming on their other project. Dean wondered why they hadn’t properly kept in contact. He physically shook himself in preparation, much like the dumb jock Charlie had always thought of him as.

‘Okay, Gabe, I’m ready. Sorry, dude,’ Dean called, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he stood on his starting marker again. He looked up and again observed how grey and heavy the clouds looked. ‘Crap, it’s gonna fuckin’ snow halfway through this shot, isn’t it?’

Benny tittered and grinned at Dean. ‘Probably… Just don’t get distracted by the snowflakes. I know they’re pretty, but you gotta focus.’

‘Fuck you, man,’ Dean chuckled, rubbing his hands together and waiting for the director to retake his seat to the side of the shooting area.

‘Action!’

Dean effortlessly slipped into character this time around, feeling refreshed after Benny’s quasi pep-talk. He began to walk forward with Benny, burying his hands deep in the pockets of his navy pea coat. ‘I dunno, Eli… I think…’

Benny looked up at him with an eyebrow raised. ‘What?’

Dean sighed heavily but kept a coy smirk on his lips. ‘I think he’s it.’

‘I don’t get what you’re saying, Mike, just spit it out,’ Benny said gruffly, bashing against Dean’s shoulder lightly with his own. Dean just sniggered and bit his bottom lip shyly.

‘It’s like… Jimmy is just this _angel_ that I could… I could see myself spending my life with him.’

Benny stared blankly at Dean and shook his head. ‘You’re gettin’ ahead of yourself, man, I’m tellin’ ya. What’s it been, like, a month?’

‘There abouts but… You know when you just feel it in your gut? That… That _amazing_ , magical-‘

‘No, I _don't_ know the feeling,' Benny interrupted him bluntly.

Dean shoved the other man roughly and grimaced. ‘You’re completely ruining the mood I’m trying to create here. I should be motivating you to find someone.’

‘Hell no, not this shit again,’ Benny sighed.

He shook his head and grumbled slightly. ‘You always act how I used to before-‘

‘You found love, yeah, okay, Michael, I’m _so_ happy someone finally fucked the stick out of your ass.’

Dean’s eyes widened. He was pretty sure Benny had improv’d the line because he didn’t remember _that_ part of the script, so the blush on Dean’s cheeks and the tips of his ears was genuine. ‘I… _Why_ are we friends?’

Benny chuckled and slapped Dean’s shoulder. ‘Because I’m there for when you get too happy and need a dose of reality.’

‘That’s morbid as hell,’ he mumbled, once again nudging into his friend and causing them both to burst into laughter, lightening the feel of the scene.

‘Cut! That was so fucking cheesy, i.e., _perfect_ , thank you, boys!’ Gabriel practically shouted, a broad grin on his face. ‘Chuck’ll be happy about that extra line, there, Benny.’

Benny winked and slung his arm casually around Dean’s shoulders. ‘Anything to see this little innocent one go red.’

‘Dude, I’ve been an active participant in more orgies than you can count on both hands, I am in no way innocent,’ Dean declared, shrugging Benny off him.

‘What’s that saying again? It’s not gay if it’s a massive orgy?’ Gabriel pondered, looking at Dean with an amused glint in his eye.

‘You know what, go fuck yourself,’ Dean laughed.


	9. Maybe When the Bitterness Has Gone, There'll Be Sweetness on Our Tongues

Dean rolled his bottom lip between his teeth as his eyes flicked over the script in his hands. He knew the scene was going to be difficult but that’s what he was known for, wasn’t it? The emotion he put into his roles, especially when it came to a romantic arc or when showing grief. He supposed he could relate to that kind of thing better and therefore could give a more believable performance.

The past month had been pretty good to Dean. He’d spent a lot of time with Castiel, obviously, which was probably actually a bad thing because he’d found out that the man was not only ridiculously attractive but also had a dry sense of humour and a really sweet, kind personality. _Damn him_ , Dean thought.

The reason he was worrying about the day’s filming schedule was it was the most intimate scene he’d have to do with Castiel. Well, aside from the sex, he supposed. Dean couldn’t help but feel a little bitterness inside at the falseness of it, because he could really see himself and Castiel being together and doing all that sappy romantic shit he’d sworn he’d purely keep on-set.

‘Uh, Dean?’ He heard the rap of knuckles against the metal door to accompany Garth’s soft voice. He breathed out a long sigh and got up.

‘Yeah, coming!’

‘Great!’ Garth responded enthusiastically, still out of sight. Dean did one last mental check that he was ready before he pulled open the door, almost making Garth fall over as he’d been pressed completely against it. Dean elevated an eyebrow slightly, but then stepped over Garth’s gangly frame and basically skipped down the steps. He didn’t want to make it come across to everyone else that he was especially nervous about the scene because then, as Charlie had done, they’d probably suss him out. He was overly cautious with that kind of thing.

As was what always seemed to be, Cas was already waiting on set when Dean arrived, chatting with Gabriel about something Dean probably didn’t want to know about. As soon as he saw him, Castiel’s face brightened and he waved shortly. Dean couldn’t stop the thoughts that attacked his brain with how _positively adorable and cute Cas looked_. It was like some camp ghost had made its home in Dean’s brain because manly men like himself _did not_ have those kinds of thoughts. Yes, Dean had been doing well living the life of an inwardly oppressed bisexual male up until Castiel, so he could definitely continue with it _beyond_ Castiel.

‘Hi, Dean,’ Cas greeted, patting Dean’s bicep as he approached. _Fuck, no, do not do that_.

‘Hey!’ Dean’s voice was a little hysteric, but who could blame him, really.

‘You ready for the big, fake capital L word, Dean?’ Gabriel asked lecherously, further cheapening the statement with his tone.

Dean rolled his eyes, hoping he conveyed an air of casual ease. ‘Obviously. I’m an actor, of course I can fake it.’ Dean was left stinging after he spied the brief flash of disappointment and hurt that crossed Castiel’s features. Surely that wasn’t fair in any way.

‘As can I,’ Cas chimed in, and there was definitely a bitter edge to his words. Dean could be intentionally dense sometimes, so he elected to not acknowledge it.

‘Great!’ Gabriel sounded unsure and kept sending concerned, furtive glances Cas’ way, but again, Dean was imagining things, wasn’t he. That was the safest way to take it. ‘Okay, let’s get you guys set up. You’re sat on the floor at the foot of the bed okay, just play with each other’s hands as you’re saying your lines, it’ll look cute or something,’ Gabriel directed, sounding a lot sunnier.

Upon the direction, Cas and Dean positioned themselves closely together and Castiel immediately took Dean’s hand in his own, designating himself and the hand-player-wither… Which was now a thing, in Dean’s mind. He smiled down at their joined hands and waited for the signal to begin the dialogue.

‘Action!’

‘I always thought that… that my sister and I would always be there for each other,’ Cas began, a slight sadness in his voice. Dean glanced up at him, loving the feel of Cas’ slender hands moving each of Dean’s individual fingers. ‘But lately we’ve just drifted apart.’

‘It’ll be fine, Jimmy, you’ll see,’ Dean murmured, smiling a little at Cas’ downcast expression. ‘Hey.’

Castiel looked up into Dean’s eyes and momentarily ceased his hand movements. Dean, of course, instantly missed it and gently wiggled his fingers as an indication that Cas should continue his fidgeting.

‘I lo-ugh!’ Dean began coughing violently, turning away from Cas and ripping his hands away to cover his mouth. _What the fuck was that_? He was sure he didn’t voluntarily start hacking up a lung, so why did his body decide to do it at the exact point where he was supposed to tell an attractive guy that he freaking _loved_ him? Natural defence mechanism, probably. That or there was an excess of dust which, gross, get the hell out of Dean’s throat.

‘Dean! Are you okay?’ Cas asked worriedly, patting his back with not nearly as much force as Sam would have done. Then again, Sam was an asshole and enjoyed seeing Dean in pain.

‘Yeah, fffine, Ca- _ASS_!’ Dean choked out, wincing at how his coughing made his words come out. It was truly, truly unfortunate.

‘Wow, Winchester, I know you’re known for feeling, but killing yourself for your one true love through the act of choking really isn’t what I had in mind for this piece,’ Gabriel commented airily from all the way over in his director’s chair. _Bastard_.

‘You’re a dick,’ Dean grumbled, finally ending his coughing fit and leaning back against the bedpost. Cas’ hand, Dean noticed, was resting comfortingly on his thigh, but was fast becoming more arousing that soothing. Dean flushed lightly yet still shuffled closer to Cas.

‘Are you alright?’ This time is was Hannah calling from the side of the room, her brow wrinkled with just the right amount of concern towards someone who looked like they’d been dying right before her eyes just moments ago.

Dean gave her a thumbs up and swallowed loudly to wet his dry throat. ‘’M good.’

‘Dudes, did you catch that? That’s totally going on the gag reel if you did. _Lonely Angel_ ’s very first near death experience!’

‘Gabriel, would you just-‘ Hannah started, marching over to him. She scowled at the camera men as they nodded their heads in response to him and then turned her glare back to Gabriel as he started doubling over.

Luckily, in the sudden commotion, nobody, not even Cas who was sat directly beside him, caught Dean’s stare boring into the side of Castiel’s face and the barely breathed, ‘I love you.’

*

Contrary to popular belief, having fake sex and sharing fake love with a guy will _actually_ bring you closer together. Dean and Cas more often than not found themselves hanging out in each other’s trailers after filming scenes together. Dean could genuinely use the phrase “we get along famously” with Cas, which was always a bonus in a friendship, and a thing ticked off one of Dean’s seriously odd mental lists.

‘I think Gabriel’s crushing slightly on Anna, and I’m confused,’ Cas admitted as they both walked back to his trailer.

Dean scowled at the floor and then smoothed out his features, shaking his head. ‘Nah, man, I don’t see it.’

‘Well _you_ wouldn’t, you don’t know Gabriel like I do.’

Dean chuckled and raised his hands. ‘Well _excuse me_ , I’m sorry, Best Buddy of the Year.’

Cas shoved Dean with his side just before they reached his trailer, grinning and rolling his eyes. ‘Shut up, I didn’t mean it like that.’

Again, Dean let out a laugh and followed Cas inside. ‘I know, don’t worry. And by the way, you have to explain yourself.’

‘Hm?’ Cas made his way over to the sofa and sank down into it, patting the space beside him so Dean could follow suit. And if Dean sat a little closer than necessary, that was his problem.

‘Why d’ya think Gabe’s crushing on her?’

Cas tilted his head and pursed his lips like he was thinking. ‘It’s not really a vibe he’s giving off per se. I mean, he’d usually be all over the object of his affections by now, but it’s just… her personality is _exactly_ what he looks for in someone. Plus she’s beautiful and a redhead… And he talks to her a lot, tries to act all gentlemanly.’

Dean let out an unfortunately unattractive snort and looked over at Cas disbelievingly. ‘Gabriel? _Gentlemanly_? I… nope.’

‘What? It’s possible! It’s how he bagged his first wife, Kali.’

‘ _First_ wife? Isn’t the dude only, like, thirty?’ Dean didn’t know why he sounded so shocked – Sam being the case in point as to why nothing on the subject of the amount of women one has proposed to should surprise him.

Castiel nodded in confirmation and shuffled a little in his seat, most likely thinking back over his friend’s colourful love life. ‘This is why I think it’s a little weird about Anna because he’s been married twice, but one was an annulment. And he’s been engaged… six… times? Maybe?’

‘Oh my god, that sounds _exactly_ like my little brother Sammy,’ Dean breathed out, shaking his head.

‘Really? And he’s younger than you?’

‘Mmhm, I don’t know what kind of game he has, but the motherfucker must be damn smooth. He’s had so many almost-wives, it’s insane.’

‘Wow. I’ll have to meet him and then introduce him to Gabriel,’ Cas chuckled with a broad grin.

‘Yeah… you will,’ Dean replied softly. And it sounded terribly close to a promise… Shit.


	10. Did I Send a Shiver Down Your Spine?

**Month 2**

‘You know who Ruby Cortese is?’

‘ _Uhh, I think I saw her once in a porno or something_.’

Dean flinched away from the phone and frowned at it before bringing it back to his ear. ‘I’m about to shoot a scene with a _porn star_?’

‘ _Thought that would be a dream come true for you_!’ Charlie said, sounding way too smug.

‘You’re fucking with me, aren’t you?’

‘ _So what if I am_?’ she sniggered before sighing. ‘ _I just googled her, she was in something called_ Gym Bunnies: The Prequel _… Yeah, good luck, my friend_.’

‘Oh my god, yeah, thanks for the support, Charlie, _bye_ ,’ he grumbled, quickly hanging up on her before he left his trailer, mentally preparing himself for the scene ahead. He’d spent the previous night going over his lines again and again, just to make sure, and he still had his script clutched in his hand just in case.

He passed Cas just before he reached the building. He watched him in confusion as he marched by with a completely sour look in his face.

‘Evil,’ Dean heard Cas murmur under his breath. He smirked and continued walking to set without giving Cas’ pissy attitude a second thought. His slightly better than normal mood suddenly plummeted, however, as his eyes landed on the woman leaning against the doorway like she owned the place.

‘Son of a bitch, _you’re_ Ruby?!’ Dean burst out, taking in the horribly familiar appearance of Ruby Cortese. Apparently, she hadn’t known who Dean was before they’d come face to face either.

‘ _Dean_?’

‘Did you guys bone or somethin’?’ Gabriel asked casually as he leafed through his copy of the script, not even looking up. Dean spun around to glower at the top of his head, thoroughly disgusted withthe idea of even touching his brother’s sloppy seconds with a fifty foot pole. _Especially_ if they were a literal spawn of Satan.

He jabbed a finger at the dark haired woman. ‘No way am I working with this bitch.’

Dean’s insult didn’t even seem to faze her, she simply wore a pleased grin and stared up at him from under her lashes. ‘I love it when a guy insults me.’

He didn’t even bother hiding his grossed out shudder and glared daggers at her. ‘Yeah, well a guy’s brother doesn’t like it when a girl insults _him_.’

‘Dudes, I can tell this is personal, but-‘

‘Oh, you _poor men_ with your potentially damaged egos, _please_ , cry me a fucking river, Dean.’

Dean recoiled and scowled, looking back at Gabriel. ‘No, you don’t understand, I _can’t_ work with her.’

Gabriel dramatically rolled his eyes. ‘I’m not sure whether or not I’m delighted you’ve finally had your diva moment, Dean, but you just gotta suck this up and deal, right? Ruby’s been cast as Meg and Meg interacts with Michael. Now, do you _want_ me to call Chuck and tell him I’m having difficulty with bringing his dream to life because of some past drama between two _children_?’ Gabriel elevated an eyebrow, daring Dean or Ruby to argue with him. They both let out twin sighs, glared at each other, and then turned the glare back to Gabriel.

‘Fine, I’ll work with him. But let’s get this straight, _I’m_ not the one with the problem,’ Ruby huffed, striding off to her marker, heels clacking against the floor.

‘Great, glad we can all get along, you just saved my cousin a breakdown,’ Gabriel said delightedly, pissing Dean off even further.

‘I’m not happy about this, man.’

‘Whatever, Dean-o. You were given the cast list, you could have looked it over and brought this up a lot earlier in the production process and we _might_ have figured a way around it. What’s your deal with her, anyway? Sure, she’s a bit of a princess, but…’ Gabriel gestured for Dean to answer which he, reluctantly, did.

‘She used to date- _be engaged_ to my brother, okay, and… let’s just say they ended on bad terms and leave it at that.’

Gabriel nodded his head in understanding. ‘I get it. But you gotta be a professional here. She’s a damn good actress. Did you see her in _Gym Bunnies: Third Level_?’ Gabriel appeared to be lost in thought then, probably picturing Ruby in some horrific way that Dean didn’t even want to try to broach with his imagination. ‘Smokin’ hot and absolutely _humiliated_ this one dude on-‘

‘I don’t care,’ Dean said bluntly.

‘Whatever, Mr Grump. You need to broaden your taste, accept the _Gym Bunnies_ franchise into your life.’

‘God no,’ Dean muttered, glancing around at the people on set. ‘Shit, they look angry.’

‘They’re always angry when I start talking about anything they don’t like. They think they’re above all that, but I know for a fact that Garth over there secretly loves _The Room_. Like, for real. Not even as in “that was a hilariously bad movie”, he _genuinely_ thinks the sex scenes were classy and that Tommy Wiseau’s acting was on point.’

Dean winced and shook his head, looking over at the human puppy dog in a new light. ‘That's rough.’

‘Winchester, stop making me talk, it’s a problem. Just get your sweet ass on set.’

‘Don’t objectify me,’ Dean grumbled, sauntering off to join Ruby who looked like she wanted to rip his head off. ‘Jeez, what crawled in your ass and died?’

Ruby lifted a perfectly manicured eyebrow. ‘You really wanna know?’

‘Fuck no.’

‘You guys learnt your lines?’ Gabriel called from his position in his extra high director’s chair; he liked being above everyone else, it was probably a height thing that Dean found pretty hilarious.

‘Yes! Jesus, you think I’m an amateur?’ Ruby snapped, earning several irritated looks.

‘Joking, Miss Cortese. Ahh method acting; I can tell you really took the role of Meg seriously.’

‘And what in the hell is that supposed to mean?’ Ruby stepped forward, a murderous glint in her eyes. Dean tried to motion for Gabe to just drop it as he’d personally been on the receiving end of “The Look” before and the end result had not been pretty. Fortunately, for once, Gabriel got the message and didn’t push.

‘Nothing! Shall we just get this show on the road?’

Dean was starting to get why Cas had had that expression on his face because he was wearing the exact same one.

*

‘Jeez, that Ruby’s a bitch,’ Dean commented as he walked into Cas’ trailer. Castiel, who had just taken a sip of his tea, almost choked, letting out a small laugh. ‘Just had a scene with her.’

‘Yes, she’s not the easiest to work with.’

‘Cas, why’d you gotta make me sound like an asshole? She’s a bitch, just agree with me.’

Dean hated how weak he felt when Cas smiled properly; all eye crinkles and white teeth. ‘Yeah, okay, she’s a bitch.’

They both laughed together at that and Dean couldn’t help but love how they sounded collectively. He stopped the train of thought dead in its tracks and then cleared his throat, instead glancing at the travel mug clasped in Cas’ hands.

‘Hey, you got any coffee in here? Charlie banned it from my trailer.’

Castiel let out a small amused sound. ‘Why’d she do that?’

‘Says I’m too caffeinated all the time and she can’t deal with me when I’m like that.’ Dean pouted a bit, studying Castiel’s face as he sniggered again. He’d never seen him so relaxed and entertained and couldn’t help but feel a little warm inside at the fact that _he_ had made him act like this.

‘Yes, you are a bit of a nightmare when you’ve been on the coffee…’

‘Hey! You’re supposed to side with me!’

Cas cocked an eyebrow and tilted his head. ‘Who says I’m supposed to side with you?’

Dean decided to stick to mindless, shameless flirtation instead of dwelling too much on what he was implying. He sent a positively lecherous wink Cas’ way. ‘Oh I think you know.’

Castiel’s naturally stoic expression crumpled as he spluttered and wordlessly made his way to the trailer’s kitchenette, shakily pressing a button and bringing the small coffee machine to life. A laugh left Dean’s lips before he could stop it and Cas swivelled back around to glare at his co-star, still slightly pink in the face.

‘Take your coffee and go, assbutt,’ Cas growled, yet successfully avoided making it sound malicious, as soon as the coffee was prepared. Dean only laughed harder.

‘Okie dokie, I’m goin’.’ As he passed Cas he grinned provocatively, loving the colour that returned to Cas’ cheeks and ears. ‘See ya on set.’


	11. We Shared a Drink or Three

**Month 3**

It was perfectly natural to fall in love with your co-star, Dean reasoned. You spent almost every waking hour with them for six straight months (three down, three to go), you were kissing them and saying mushy shit to them for about ninety percent of _that_ time, plus you had a hefty filmography to sort through to look at their face when you were not in their presence. Dean’s sweet as hell flat screen was just _begging_ for Cas’ face to grace it whenever possible.

But then again, the flat screen was an inanimate object and wasn’t the one with the hopeless crush. Maybe Dean was creepy, maybe Dean just knew exactly what he was feeling and decided to deal with it. Without admitting it to the object of his affections, of course. There were still a couple of months left of filming and a lot of it included intimate scenes. He didn’t want to ruin the on screen chemistry with the raw awkwardness that could be the result of Castiel’s rejection. Besides, who even knew if he was gay?

‘Charlie, this job is the fucking worst.’

She simply rolled her eyes, stood up from where she’d been lounging on his couch with a magazine, and slapped him not too lightly around the back of the head. ‘You’re an idiot.’

‘Ow! The hell?’

‘Dean, get over it, just bask in the glory that is you being in a fake on screen relationship with the subject of your every fantasy!’ Charlie said, like he was completely stupid.

Dean scowled at her and rubbed the back of his head, not wanting to talk to her but curious as to what she was getting at. ‘What do you mean?’

She looked like she was about to slap him again but refrained. ‘You literally get to play out what you dream about! Even if Cas isn’t gay, you get to fake it with him every damn day, so don’t say you hate your job with the amount of good it’s giving you, even if it _is_ pretend.’

Dean could see where she was coming from, but he knew he couldn’t just accept it. His chest ached and to him, it felt like torture, this constant feeling of not knowing with Cas. He’d known what he was getting into, though. He was an actor for fuck’s sake. Charlie stared at him for a few moments before letting out an exasperated sigh, one hand flying up to cup around the side of her head. It would have looked strange to anyone who didn’t know what was actually under the curtain of red hair.

‘Alright, if you truly can’t stand being content with that then… Just invite him out for drinks. I gotta go, Jo is a’callin,’ she said in a rush, gesturing vaguely to her Bluetooth and shooting out of the trailer door before the actor could even open his mouth.

*

Dean had thought _why the hell not_ , and had followed Charlie’s advice. He knew he was overindulging in his time with Cas and should have probably let the man have a break from seeing his face, but he couldn’t help it. Yeah, he could be a fucking selfish human sometimes, sue him.

So, of course Cas had accepted, there was no doubt in Dean’s mind because the guy was just so damn polite it was sort of sickening. Maybe he’d felt forced into going out with him. Dean was about to slam his head into the brick wall of the bar he was waiting outside of and wallow in self-pity when a slender finger tapped his shoulder. He nearly jumped out of his skin and spun around so quickly he was slightly worried about his balance.

‘Hey,’ Cas said with an amused beam on his face.

‘Beautiful.’

Cas’ brow crinkled at the exact moment Dean clapped a hand over his mouth. ‘What?’

Dean grinned impishly and slowly slid a hand over Castiel’s shoulder to guide him into the bar, _Seven Grand_. It wasn’t the best looking place but he’d heard good things and was willing to chance it – he’d take this kind of bar over the douchebag filled LA clubs any day. ‘Nothing, man, you wanna beer? Whiskey? Cocktail? Whatever, I’m buying.’

Dean almost cringed at the soft smile Castiel aimed at him and wondered why he hadn’t immediately pushed to order some of the harder stuff. He was going to need it if he was going to attempt to kill the freaking _butterflies_ in his stomach. ‘That’s incredibly generous of you, Dean, thank you. I’ll have a beer.’

Nope, Dean wasn’t blushing. He was just suspiciously grateful for the low lighting for no reason. _Definitely_ not because it hid said non-existent blush. He was a grown ass man, for Christ’s sake, he didn’t freaking blush in the presence of other grown ass men. ‘Beer it is. Oh hey, there’re some seats,’ Dean said, motioning towards the bar. Music, which thankfully was exactly to Dean’s tastes, quietly filtered through the speakers hidden throughout the large room. He waved down the bartender as he sat on the stool and ordered them a round. Castiel wore a small smile and stared down at his hands that were rested on the bar top. As he wasn’t looking at Dean, he managed to surreptitiously take in Castiel’s appearance without being labelled too creepy. His blue eyes glistened in the low light and his dark brown hair was artfully ruffled, the kind of style that Dean would usually sneer at but couldn’t bring himself to when Cas looked _this_ good. Cas was dressed quite smartly but not too over the top for the bar they were in. He wore a plain white shirt with the top two buttons undone, giving Dean an amazing view of his neck and a peek at his collarbone. His black washed jeans were tight but left some to the imagination and disappeared into a pair of black Chelsea boots. Dean bit his bottom lip and tore his eyes away from his companion before he was caught out. He briefly thought about how simple he probably looked next to Cas in his usual t-shirt, flannel and blue jeans, but dismissed it and instead nodded in thanks to the barman when he placed the two bottles in front of them.

‘So, Cas.’

Castiel looked up immediately with a ready expression. ‘Hm?’

‘How you likin’ working with the great Dean Winchester so far, huh?’ Dean almost patted himself on the back at how suave he was.

The other man chuckled and swallowed a large mouthful of his beer. ‘Oh, it’s certainly been an adventure.’

‘Oh yeah?’ Dean smirked and took a swig of his own drink, glancing up at Cas through his lashes.

‘And I suppose you’re not a bad kisser, either,’ he added, completely unnecessarily. Dean kind of wished he had never said that because Cas was just making it all that bit harder for Dean to take. But he still couldn’t help but feel pathetically fuzzy when Cas grinned at him smugly as he choked on his drink.

After a while of idle chatter and mindless drinking, Dean decided to go for a more personal, yet still broad, question, hoping to learn more about who Cas was rather than just what he chose to share with Dean and how he acted around him.

‘Tell me about yourself, Cas!’

Castiel’s eyes were slightly hooded, but not enough that Dean was concerned. ‘What do you wanna know?’

He grinned at Cas’ use of contraction and shrugged. ‘Family... I guess. Good place to start?’ Dean sounded so unsure and he could tell that Cas was amused by it. Another sip of his drink would hide his stupid smile, Dean figured, so he brought the new bottle to his lips.

‘I have two older brothers and a sister.’ Cas mirrored Dean’s shrug.

Dean’s eyebrows lifted and he put down his beer. ‘Really? Never knew that.’

Castiel frowned. ‘Why would you have known that?’

‘Uhhh, I… No, uh, wow, what are their names?’ Second slip of the night. Dean really didn’t need Castiel to find out about how much of a fangirl he’d been before being cast in the film with him (even after that as well, really) and he thought that oh so smoothly keeping the subject focused on Cas would mean that he could keep the illusion that he was cool. That was if Cas had even thought of him as “cool” in the first place.

Castiel still looked slightly suspicious but his brow smoothed out and he answered Dean’s question. ‘The brothers are non-identical twins called Mike and Nick and I also have a sister called Rachel.’

Dean let out a small chuckle. ‘And your parents called you _Castiel_? Where the hell did that come from?’ Dean could tell that the beer had made Cas at least buzzed because he let out a small hiccup-giggle – that was honestly adorable – before responding.

‘I know, I kind of hate them for that. I think my mom told me once that she was just delirious in the delivery room and had been reading some sort of book on religion the night before.’

They stopped talking to order another round and a couple of shots which Castiel quickly downed, leaving Dean awestruck at his eagerness. He floundered for something to say to restart the conversation and, of course, it had to be faintly embarrassing.

‘My mom named me after my grandma.’

‘Thank you for sharing,’ Cas laughed, almost doubling over with it out of the blue while gripping onto the bar top. Dean looked at him strangely before he couldn’t hold it in and burst out laughing too. He was pretty sure a few people around them at the bar were looking at them weirdly but he was too inebriated and focused on Cas to care.

‘Cas, how drunk’re you?’ Dean managed to force out between shaky breaths. They couldn’t have had more than a few beers before the shots. And, okay, it had affected Dean more than usual because he hadn’t really been drinking since his last disastrous encounter with Jack Daniels.

Castiel sobered, in the laughing sense, finally sitting up straight but he still had a broad grin on his face and his hair was even more tousled than usual. ‘Oh no, I already started before I… B’fore I got here, ‘cause I have a high torrents… no, wait, _tolerance_ , Jesssus Christ. Sooooo… only a small drunk- a little bit! …Drunk.’

Dean’s answering smile was lazy and his eyes were clouded. The shots really had pushed Cas over the drunken edge. He sat on the bar stool practically vibrating with suppressed laughter and Dean started to worry; he knew he was going to be too drunk to hold back some of the stuff he’d always wanted to say to Cas. It was getting dangerous.

‘Cas, d’ya wanna come back to mine?’ _Fuck_. Okay, no taking that back, now.

‘Jeez, Winchester, at least buy me a drink first, oh wait, you already _have_!’ Cas burst out laughing again like it was the funniest thing in the world and Dean just watched him. The damn butterflies were back.

‘Hang on, ’m gettin’ one gin ‘nd tonic, hey!’ Dean called to the bartender. ‘One… gin?!’ He shrugged and beamed as he threw back the straight alcohol, barely flinching.

He threw some bills, which could have been in the high hundreds for all he knew, on the counter and gave the bored looking bartender a drunken salute, before wrapping his arm around Cas and practically dragging him out of the bar.

‘Gotta tell ya, Cas, I always pegged that you’d be a depressed drunk,’ Dean slurred, a wide, ridiculous grin on his face.

‘If you leave me on m’own I get so sad,’ Cas replied, slumping heavily against Dean.

‘I’m not gonna leave you,’ Dean mumbled practically into Cas’ hair. He stumbled forward, trying to spy a taxi but he knew the chances of hailing one down were slim. ‘Cas, I live so goddamn far away! If we don’t get a ride we’re screwed.’

‘Nooo, it’s fine.’

Dean frowned and then slapped his forehead. ‘Oh yeah, Cas, it’s _fine_ , why didn’t I think that?’

Castiel seemed like, when drunk, he was incredibly prone to doubling over with fits of laughter at the slightest hint of humour. Dean staggered as Cas nearly brought him down to the concrete, desperately trying to keep a firm hold of him. He was momentarily distracted by how the neon light shining from the sign played in Castiel’s hair but he couldn’t be blamed, he _was_ drunk after all.

‘C’mon, Cas, we gotta try ‘n get a cab, ‘m not hauling your ass literally halfway 'cross the city,’ Dean grumbled, lightly tugging on the back of Cas’ shirt.

‘Dean,’ Castiel slurred into his ear, completely ignoring Dean’s genuine concerns.

‘Yah?’

‘Will you… protect me?’

Dean scrunched his eyebrows together and looked down at the top of Cas’ head. ‘Yeah… what’dya mean? What… from?’

‘Mountain lions.’

There was a moment of silence that was only filled by the sounds of the nightlife around them, before it was broken with a bark of laughter. ‘The fuck, Cas? Friggin’ mountain lions? In the middle of the street? _That’s_ what you’re worrying about right now?’

‘Yes, Dean,’ Cas replied entirely seriously, for once not breaking out into giggles like he’d been doing for the majority of the night. Dean rolled his eyes fondly and readjusted his hold on Castiel, dragging him up to his full height.

‘I’ll protect you, dude, with me, you’re gold'n. I guess we gotta walk then,’ Dean sighed, his feet feeling one thousand tonnes heavier than he remembered them being at the start of the evening. The sheer thought of having to walk back to his place made him want to groan and curl up on the floor. At that point, he didn’t care if it was dirty, if it involved not moving, he fully supported the idea.

‘I think I’d be tasty to a mountain lion, I feel kind of offended you think they’d actively avoid me,’ Castiel grumbled under his breath as the two of them began sluggishly walking in the vague direction of Dean’s apartment.

‘Christ, m'not even gonna bother asking where you got that idea from,’ Dean tittered, an easy smile spreading across his face. When he thought about it, he realised he felt peaceful and relaxed. If he got over the initial shock of Cas’ mere presence, he was actually a pretty calming guy who could also have him in stitches.

‘I’m an outsider, Dean,’ Cas said, turning his gaze to Dean and locking eye contact. ‘So you have t' look after me if a mountain lion were to ravage me. You would have to alert my family back in Lawrence of my demise, Dean.'

‘Jesus, this got morbid.’ Dean’s eyes were wide and he slowly patted Cas on the back. ‘Hey, wait, you say Lawrence?’

Castiel nodded his head and grinned cheerfully, entirely contrasting his mood just seconds prior. ‘Oh, yep, whole family’s back in Kansas. S’where I’m from ridge... rr... 'riginally.’

Dean’s eyebrows lifted at the coincidence. ‘Seriously?’ Cas nodded exaggeratedly. ‘I’m from there too. S’weird.’

‘No way!’

‘ _Yes_ way.’

‘We could have grown up on the same street,’ Cas gasped, stopping in the middle of the pavement and grabbing Dean’s arm tightly.

‘Lawrence is made up of more th'n one street, Cas.’

‘’Merica’s made up of more than one state, 'n yet...!’ Cas shot back, tapping his nose cleverly. Dean rolled his eyes.

‘Touché.’

‘Wait, how old're you? And remember, this is 'mportant because we could have grown up at the _same time_.’

Dean, who had started walking again, halted. ‘How come I know how old _you_ \- Fuck! No no! I’m _twenty six_!’ Dean’s voice had risen as he tried to verbally undo the start of his sentence.

Castiel, luckily, was too drunk to care. ‘Well, _two years_ , Dean. I was probably at drama school when you were still like… younger.’

‘You went to drama school, oh my god, tha’s great,’ Dean laughed, about to comment further, when what felt like a set of talons sank into his shoulder accompanied by a muted scream. For a moment, he panicked and all he could hear was the roar of his blood in his ears. _I'm really going to have to protect Cas from mountain lions. This is it._ But then-

‘Dean Winchester?’

‘’S askin’?’ Dean asked, turning around to spot a scantily dressed woman with a platinum blonde bob. Her blue dress sparkled in the weak light from the street lamp and he was captivated by it for a moment. He could see a small group of women a few feet behind her all whispering to each other and he could barely keep in a chuckle.

‘Hey! I’m _such_ a big f- wait, is that Castiel Novak?!’ her voice transformed into a squeal, effectively catching Cas’ attention.

‘Indeed, madam,’ Cas said formally, grinning as Dean spat out a laugh.

‘Oh my gosh! This is amazing, you guys are friends?’

Dean frowned and stepped forward, placing a hand on her shoulder and then gesturing to Cas. ‘Like… do you read goss'p things?’

She gulped and blinked several times, slightly stunned by Dean’s proximity. ‘You’re shooting a movie?’

‘Hell… yeah,’ Cas replied slowly.

‘Oh my god, that’s awesome! What’s it about?’ she chanced.

‘Ga-‘ Cas started but was quickly interrupted by Dean – even with his alcohol fogged mind, he still had those niggling thoughts in the back of his head that seeped poisonous fear into his bones and he still wasn’t going to chance it with the public. Sometimes he felt like he hated his father for drilling these fears into Dean and shaping him into the repressed man he was today.

‘Sorry, lady, ya gotta wait until a year. Wait… no… wait until-‘

‘Wait like a year,’ Cas said, helping Dean out.

The woman laughed and glanced back at her friends, mouthing something, before she waggled her phone in front of Dean and Cas’ faces. ‘Can I get a selfie with you guys?’

‘What the heck is a selfie?’ Cas asked, brows pulling together. Dean slapped him on the shoulder and dragged him to the other side of the girl who was fumbling to get up the camera on her phone.

‘Just smile like you’re a movie star, Cas.’ Dean hoped and prayed that his advice guided Cas away from posing with a duck face, but he could never know with him. Plus he was drunk, so that threw a whole new level of unpredictability into the mix.

‘But I _am_ a- Oh, okay, a picture.’ Castiel didn’t hesitate before grinning broadly with Dean following suit, huddling close to the woman. She snapped the picture, blinding flash and all, and beamed at both of them.

‘Oh! Before, um, before you guys go, can I just say, Dean, my _favourite_ movie in the world ever is _Cowboy Mountain_ , are you ever gonna do another cowboy film?’

Dean blanched and slowly turned to look at Cas who had a fucking smirk on his face and eyebrows up to his hair line. ‘Uhhh, I… I dunno.’

She smiled softly and went to hug Dean. ‘Thank you so much! Uhh, I'm just gonna... Bye.’ And with that she scurried off to her friends, nearly tripping in her platforms.

‘ _Cowboy_ … _Mountain_. I…’ Castiel paused before nearly falling over from the sheer force of his laughter. ‘I’m so sorry but- I-‘

‘Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, it was like the second movie I ever did. I was sev'nteen and goin' through a cowboy phase, shut your mouth.’

Dean’s attempt at justification didn’t do anything to quell Cas’ fit. ‘I am totally finding this film, oh my god. Whatever it is, it sounds Brokeback gay.’

Dean scrunched his eyes closed and shook his head. ‘If you find it, I will kill you. I don’t think I’ve even met anyone who liked that piece of shit, it went straight to video, yeah, _video_.’

Castiel actually wiped a tear from his eye and straightened up, grinning at Dean. ‘Priceless. Okay, apartment now, please.’

‘I’m not a fuckin' wizard, I can’t magic us there,’ Dean said, dreading the rest of the walk and also wishing he was a little less drunk. He could _really_ feel the gin kicking in on top of the whiskey and beer.

‘I’m an angel, I’ll get us there, I have wings!’ Cas jumped up a few inches from the ground and then ended in a crouch position, looking like he was trying to take off. Dean waited and when nothing happened, he snickered and snaked his hand across Cas’ back, prompting him to straighten up.

‘C’mon, Cas, we got some walkin’ to do.’


	12. I Watch Your Jaw Drop Open With an Eager Stare

‘Thank _fucking Christ_ ,’ Dean wailed as he collapsed inside his apartment, leaving the door wide open for Cas to follow him in.

Castiel pawed at Dean’s back in a weak attempt to get him up off the floor. ‘I need more liquor, give me th'alcohol, Dean.’

Dean coughed out a muffled laugh into the carpet of his hallway and dragged himself up off the floor, the back of his head colliding with the side of Cas’ face as he’d been standing closer than he’d originally judged. ‘ _Personal space, Cas-_ oh, who gives a shit, c’mere.’

 _Stop, Dean, s-t-o-p_! the tiny rational voice at the back of his head screamed as he pulled Cas in for a clumsy one-armed hug. Cas reciprocated and stumbled as Dean pulled him along to his kitchen.

‘Your home’s so much nicer than mine? I swear I’m more famous than you though?’

Dean let out another far too loud laugh at Cas’ comments and how he also phrased them like questions. He released Cas and lurched forward to his liquor cabinet. ‘You so are and I bet you could pull _so many more_ chicks than me, you fuckin’ stud- oh shit, that sounded preh... pretty gay.’

‘No, nnnno, Dean, you don’t understand, I’m not built for purely ladies,’ Cas murmured as he took the glass Dean offered him. Dean’s eyes practically bugged out of his skull. Nope. He took a long draught of whiskey straight from the bottle, totally not helping his current state.

‘You- whah?’

‘I like the male physique more than that of the female,’ Cas reiterated, sounding like he was reading out of a textbook rather than saying something personal. Dean found it kind of weird given that just moments before he'd been stumbling over even pronouncing his vowels correctly.

‘Then why _in the hell_ are we not kissing _right_ now?!’ Dean exclaimed sounding almost angry, nearly dropping his bottle of whiskey in the process. Cas looked confused for all of two seconds before he ripped the bottle out of Dean’s hands, placed it contrastingly gently on the granite counter top, and grabbed the back of Dean’s head. When their lips met, it was graceless and lacked anything of what Dean had expected. He tried to think through the lingering fog of alcohol, but it was difficult. All he knew that Cas’ lips were warm and demanding and just… _lovely_. He was so drunk, he’d call them lovely. And, thankfully, Cas seemed just as enthusiastic as him, if not more, pulling and pushing, nipping and licking. In his drunken haze, Dean pulled back and grabbed onto both of Cas’ cheeks, staring at him. Oh god, Dean had fucked his lips up in the _best way_ ; Cas looked completely rumpled and was panting heavily, mouth open. Dean pressed his lips back onto Cas’ and allowed his hands to caress Castiel’s face like they never had on camera.

Castiel’s tongue dipped into Dean’s mouth and he couldn’t really keep up. So, he decided on doing the worst thing imaginable in that second and pulled off.

‘Nah, Cassss, been thinkin’ ‘bout this too long, y’know?’ he mumbled, placing a hand on Cas’ heaving chest. His cheeks were flushed and his dark hair was fluffy from where Dean had run his hands through it. 'Like f'real, not... camera? ...Y'know?'

‘My- Same! We should remember it, we should-‘

‘Less juss talk about thiss tomorrow and have some _watter_ ,’ Dean slurred, eyes bugging as he looked at the nearly gone whiskey. He could have sworn he’d been losing chunks of the night from his memory because he couldn’t remember drinking anymore of the alcohol in between any of the kisses he and Cas had shared. He sluggishly grabbed a glass from one of his cupboards and shoved it under the tap.

‘No! No, Dean! That is the _hot watter tap_ ,’ Cas garbled, mauling at Dean’s arm to get him to stop.

‘Whoops,’ he mumbled before suddenly pressing his lips surely to Cas’ again. They both sunk into it, mouths moving against each other’s just like they’d done countless other times when it hadn’t been real. Dean soon stepped back as he’d done before and put some space between them.

‘Sleep in m’bed with me? ‘N then you’ll be like right there t’talk.’ Jesus, his speech was slow.

Castiel eagerly nodded and turned around, walking straight into the wall next to the door. They both chuckled about it and then Cas winced and roughly prodded at his forehead. ‘My head,’ he said simply.

‘Bed! Cas!’ Dean nearly screamed, completely past waiting.

‘Indeed, sir, lead the way.’ And of course, he strode headfirst into the wall for the second time that evening.

*

Why the fuck did Dean repeatedly do this to himself, again? He seriously considered just banning alcohol from his flat and also his life, but that thought was pretty short-lived. He scratched at his head for a few seconds before glancing around his bedroom dazedly. Sunlight streamed in through the window at an angle which could only suggest that it was afternoon. He glanced down at himself and took in the fact that he was still fully dressed, save for his jeans; one leg on and one leg off. He must have been _hammered_ because, honestly, who lets themselves take off one leg of their jeans and falls asleep unless they’re absolutely pissed?

Dean scrunched his eyes shut and worked his jaw, hearing it crunch unappealingly. He reached out to the body next to him and shook it awake- Oh yeah, that was Cas.

‘Shhhi- Cas?’ Dean’s voice cracked from sleep and he continued to furiously blink, trying to wake up more.

‘Mmmmfuhhhh offfff,’ Cas mumbled sleepily, but rolled over to face Dean, eyes still firmly shut.

Dean let out a weak laugh, making sure he kept his voice at a low decibel for both his and Castiel’s sakes. He did obey Cas’ muffled, almost incoherent order, however, and chose to wait it out for a few minutes. As he lay on his bed, eyes darting across the ceiling and following non-existent patterns on the sheer white paint, he allowed his brain to calmly process the previous night’s events. If he’d have done it any other way than calmly, he’d probably have burst out with overjoyed high pitched squeals or, alternatively, with explosive swear words.

Kissing Castiel off camera had been… Well, he couldn’t remember exactly what his feelings were as they were pretty dulled from the alcohol. But he’d remembered _definitely_ liking it. He pouted as he thought, sifting through what he remembered. Drunken selfies and lips and eyes and _lips and Cas and hot water (what the fuck) and **Cas**_. Dean slapped both of his hands over his face to try and put a stop to his jumbled thought process.

So he and Cas definitely were on the same page, then. _Thank fucking Christ for that_.

Eventually, Dean couldn’t bare dealing with his headache alone, and tried to shove Cas awake again. It seemed like second time was actually a charm because Cas jumped up as if he’d heard a gunshot and confusedly glanced around him, his breaths coming fast and his hands flying up to cradle his thumping head.

‘Hey, calm down, man, it’s just me.’

‘Dean?’

‘Yah. You slept over because we drank too much.’

And then was the tense moment where Cas could either plead ignorance and say he _couldn’t remember anything after the second or tenth shot, har har har_ , or could state that, yeah, they should do more of that kissing thing and that couple-y stuff and that whole “I love you” shebang. Dean was quite clearly getting ahead of himself. He blamed the hangover. It’s not like anyone was gonna tell him that was bullshit; he was only lying to himself.

‘Yes, I remember.’

It was like angels had descended from Heaven and actually sung fucking hymns or carols or some shit in Dean’s honour. Or a game show host or the guy who does the lottery just burst into the room and shouted his congratulations for Dean and showered him endlessly with hundreds of dollars. But, no. The reality was much quieter and a lot more modest because if an angel choir had _actually_ entered Dean’s bedroom with harps and microphones or whatever, he would have probably hit them all around the head with a chair and told them to shut the fuck up and be more considerate about his fragile brain.

 _Again, off topic_ , Dean chastised himself. He let a slow grin slip onto his face as he regarded a very sleepy Castiel.

‘You do?’

Cas tried to appear casual, but Dean could tell there was some vulnerability hidden in his expression. ‘Yes…’

An awkward silence was what actually descended upon them, no angels in sight. Dean felt disappointment wash over him because _this was not how this was supposed to go_.

‘So-‘

‘I like you-‘

They both started at the same time, their eyes widening at Dean’s blurted out admission. Again, blame the alcohol abused brain.

‘Uh…’

‘I meant… no, what I meant was-‘

‘I like you too,’ Cas mumbled, staring down at the bed sheets rather than at Dean’s face. There was a pause in which Dean, once again, allowed his brain some time to process the situation. And, obviously, the correct reaction was _not_ to flip over, away from Castiel, and reach into his bedside drawer to pull out a packet of mints. But that’s what he did anyway, because who likes morning breath.

‘What are you-‘

Dean interrupted Cas by shoving an unknown amount of mints in his open mouth and then following mere split seconds after with his own mouth.

And so the ice was broken.


	13. You Had Me Howling

**Month 4**

As soon as Dean had had a taste of what _actually_ being with Cas was like, suddenly he dreaded going into work and having to fake it. It was just so much easier when he didn’t have to call Cas “Jimmy” and when the whole bearing his soul idea didn’t feel so false. Which it was, because technically it was a character created by Gabriel’s weird cousin (of whom he refused to talk about in too much detail other than for the occasional threat) who was baring his soul and not Dean.

So Dean lay in his bed that was one person heavier and adjusted his position in Castiel’s arms, trying not to think too much about the whole situation. Aside from the first night they’d gone out together, which was inevitable due to how much alcohol they’d both consumed, Cas had never actually stayed over for the night. Dean would like to blame it on their schedules and not wanting to distract each other, but the true fault lay with himself. He’d always hinted at Cas as the hour got later that he should get going. He thought that maybe by letting him stay, or alternatively staying over at Cas’, he would cross some line in their relationship that he didn’t think he was quite ready for. Maybe he’d thought it would make it more real. But again, he just pushed the thoughts away from the forefront of his mind, opting to bask in the sheer niceness that was waking up with someone beside him for once.

Cas was still asleep and Dean took the time to take in his features. Castiel looked so relaxed, his mouth slightly open, letting out short, quiet breaths. Even without the shock of his irises, Dean thought Cas looked amazing with the slope of his nose, the arch of his brows, the bow of his lip and the cut of his jaw.

Dean didn’t have much time to miss Cas’ eyes too much before the other man suddenly frowned, drawing his eyebrows together and letting his eyelids flutter open. Dean found it weird that he loved the naturalness of the movement, of the waking up process. When Cas made eye contact with Dean, he didn’t look at him as if he were surprised or even creeped out by Dean’s state of awake, he just smiled softly. He then sat up slowly and allowed his bones to crack as he stretched his arms up. Dean raked his eyes over the way Castiel’s muscles moved beneath his tanned skin and grinned fondly at the massive yawn he let out as his arms were still outstretched. Like they were deadweight, Cas let his arms drop heavily back onto the mattress and looked over at Dean.

‘Can I take a shower?’

‘Sure, Cas,’ Dean replied sleepily, carding a hand through Castiel’s hair and messing it up further. ‘You know where the bathroom is.’

Cas chuckled. ‘Yes I do.’ He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Dean simply grinned and rolled over, groaning into his pillow.

‘Go take your goddamn shower, I’ll get some coffee going.’

Castiel flipped Dean over before he could really take in the situation and planted a quick close mouthed kiss on his lips before, surprisingly gracefully, leaving the bed and padding off down the hall. Dean rolled fully onto his front and clutched his pillow in a vice like hold. He was… _happy_. So, incredibly happy and it was odd. He hadn’t realised how empty his bed had been before Cas had plopped himself in it as if it was nothing.

Before his face morphed into nothing but a smile, Dean shot out of bed and dragged on some boxers, deciding to carry out on his promise of coffee. The sound of the shower running and knowing Cas was in it, probably naked unless he was weird, was more than a little distracting but Dean managed to fight through it and actually press the coffee machine’s on button.

It had, strangely, come up a few times in conversation, but Dean had yet to witness the wonder that was Cas’ record shower time. No less than a minute after Dean had begun the coffee preparation, Castiel strode into the kitchen in a pair of boxers with his hair still sopping wet.

‘Dude, you weren’t even gone five minutes.’

Cas shrugged casually and slid into one of the chairs at the breakfast bar, gratefully accepting the beverage when Dean handed it to him. ‘I cleaned all the key areas, rest assured.’

Dean let out a laugh as he poured his own coffee into his novelty mug. Cas seemed to notice its difference from the plain blue ceramic mug he’d been given and frowned, pointing at it.

‘What’s that supposed to be?’

‘A mug,’ Dean answered dumbly, taking a sip of his drink. Cas let out an exasperated huff and eyeballed the ceiling. The sarcasm in his expression was indeed something to behold.

‘Wow, thanks. No, I mean the design. What’s it from?’

Dean smirked and looked down at the colourful exterior of the mug. ‘I take it you haven’t seen _Anchorman_?’

‘No, I haven’t,’ Cas replied almost snootily, peering over the rim of his cup at Dean who was clearly enjoying Castiel’s attitude.

Cas put down his mug and nibbled at his nails to which Dean almost walked up to him to bat his hand away from his mouth, but he managed to restrain himself. He limited himself to a glare and a small, judgmental noise that came from the back of his throat. Castiel soon dropped his hand anyway, inwardly laughing at Dean, and picked his cup back up.

‘I wish we’d done the sex scene later on,’ Cas said randomly, taking a sip of his coffee.

Dean drew his eyebrows together. ‘Oh yeah? Why’s that?’

Cas shrugged and took another drink, a sly smile on his face that didn’t quite sit right with Dean. ‘Oh, you know, so I could have maybe taken charge, just how you like.’

Dean spluttered and put his coffee down before he spilled it over himself. ‘Uhhh.’

The shorter man let out a brief laugh and stood up, making his way around the kitchen island. Dean almost wanted to back away from the other man’s predatory once over, but he stayed put, resiliently locking eyes with Cas.

Castiel moved his arm so it was wrapped around Dean’s shoulders, raising goose bumps on the skin, and he leaned in, his breath ghosting over Dean’s pursed lips. He leaned in and pecked them lightly, glancing up at Dean before leaning in again and pressing their lips together for slightly longer. Dean started to laugh as Cas repeated the short kisses again and again, getting faster each time. Castiel smiled and moved to kiss along Dean’s jaw. The _noises_ Cas was making against Dean’s skin in that deep rumbling voice of his did nothing short of leaving Dean practically breathless and writhing.

They both sighed simultaneously and Cas drew back, only slightly, to look up properly at Dean. The taller of the two radiated nervous vibes, as if he was bottling something up for fear of asking it. Wordlessly, Cas nudged his hip with his own and tried to catch Dean’s gaze.

‘You wanna… stay over again?’ Dean asked, cautiously, not making eye contact with the other man. He could see Cas’ mouth stretch into a smile in his periphery and felt relieved.

‘I’d love to.’

*

‘…So I’m now doing Cas,’ Dean summed up his rambling speech, carefully looking across at Sam, trying to gauge his reaction. His brother’s mouth was slightly open and his eyes were squinted.

‘And how long has this been going on for?’

Dean drew his bottom lip into his mouth and sucked on it, debating on whether or not he should tell the truth. ‘’Bout a month.’

Sam nodded, looking down at the table with a thoughtful stare. In other circumstances, Dean would've assumed he was searching for the meaning of life within the wood grains, the aforementioned look was so intense. ‘Does Charlie know about this?’

 _Shit_. ‘Uh, no, I’ve kinda been keeping… _us_ \- me ‘n Cas on the down low.’

Sam’s eyebrows rose. ‘Damn… Well, I just texted her letting her know that she owed me fifty bucks.’

Dean’s eyes widened. ‘You _what_?!’

His brother shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, as if the situation wasn’t a big deal. Charlie was going to kill Dean for not telling her. But then again she’d made a freaking _bet_ with Sam and Dean was sure that earned at least some points against _her_. ‘Sorry, man, I just assumed… And I wanted my money.’

Dean was seriously _this close_ to diving across the table and decapitating his brother with the extremely blunt butter knife the restaurant had so kindly provided. Sam was saved, however, when Dean’s phone started buzzing in his pocket. Sam smirked as Dean fumbled to put it to his ear.

‘Hello?’

‘ _Dean_! _I can’t believe you didn’t tell me_!’ Wait that wasn’t Charlie, it was _Jo_.

‘Jo? Why would I tell you anything?’ He frowned over at his brother who was shaking with suppressed laughter.

‘ _You’re_ gay?!’

‘Bisexual,’ Dean corrected quietly, glancing around him to make sure no one was listening in. Sam’s laughter turned into a concerned stare. _Fuck Sam and his fucking “aw, Dean” soul stare, seriously_.

‘ _You’re_ half gay?!’ Jo reiterated, earning an exaggerated eye roll from Dean which she unfortunately couldn’t see.

‘Fuck- can you just give the phone to Charlie, since you’re so obviously with her.’

‘ _Fine, fine_.’ There was some shuffling and a few murmured voices before Charlie was put on the line. ‘ _Hey_.’

‘Charlie, she said I was half gay,’ Dean sighed long-sufferingly.

‘ _Yeah, Jo’s kind of… Yeah, you know. Okay, now can I put on my angry voice_?’

‘I guess…’

‘ _Why the hell did I not know about this_?! _I knew Novak was the only reason you accepted the role_ …’

‘That’s another thing entirely. Look, I’m sorry, Charlie, I just… Huh, you know how I am with this shit.’

‘ _Yeah, unfortunately I do. But you should have told me_! _You’d think of all people_ I _would freaking accept you_!’

Dean winced and then rubbed at his eyes with the tips of his fingers. ‘It wasn’t about accept- Sammy, stop giving me those fucking puppy eyes, Jesus Christ. Charlie, I’ll talk to you later, if that’s okay? I’ve just gotta slap Sam in the face before that look actually works on me and I vomit my guts out onto the table.’

‘ _Ew, gross. Have fun_!’

Charlie quickly hung up and Dean replaced his phone in his pocket, glaring at Sam the entire time. ‘So, thanks for that.’

‘Pleasure… Dean-‘

‘I’mma stop you right there, Sammy.’

‘ _Dean_!-‘

‘Nope. We’re not having this conversation. I’m not ashamed of what I have with Cas, okay, let me just get that straight.’ Dean almost groaned at his wording but soldiered on. ‘I would be completely fucking fine with showing him off and painting the town fucking multi coloured, but my situation’s different in that it’s not just people’s opinions that could affect me. My whole goddamn job could be jeopardized.’

Sam cocked an eyebrow and gawked at Dean as he ranted, sitting back as soon as he’d finished. There was a pause before Sam opened his mouth. ‘Dean. People. Don’t. Care.’

‘You kidding me, Sammy? I-‘

‘You’re in the middle of filming a rom-com about two gay guys that’s set to top the box office!’ Sam whisper-hissed in exasperation. ‘What more of an indication do you need to tell you that you don’t have to keep who you are a secret?’

Dean bit his lip and allowed his leg to jump in time with his anxiety jacked heartbeat. He wanted to say it was because it was nobody’s business. He wanted to say “forget about it, Sammy”. But what he ended up saying was exactly the _last_ thing he wanted to share with his brother. ‘’S not what dad would’ve said.’

Sam’s answering sympathetic look almost killed Dean. He didn’t want his brother looking at him like that, hell, he didn’t want _anyone_ looking at him like that.

‘Dad… was many things. I’m not gonna share my thoughts on him because I know you looked up to the guy, even if I can’t understand that…’ Sam sighed and rubbed at his face tiredly. He sniffed and brought his eyes up to meet his brother’s. ‘You deserve to be happy. And if a dead guy who I can barely refer to as our father’s stopping you… I don’t really know what to say.’

Dean shook his head and turned his gaze away from Sam, studying the specials board. All the names of the food items were stupid, he could think up better shit in his sleep, probably had, even. ‘I don’t know what it is, Sammy. I just feel like he’s gonna pop up somewhere and tell me what a fucking disappointment I am… I dunno.’ Dean let out a shuddering breath and sat back in his chair, the faux leather squeaking as he moved.

‘We both know that’s not gonna happen. You’ve got to live your life feeling free like I’m living mine.’

‘Psh, right, but you’re with a chick.’

Sam rolled his eyes. ‘Yeah, and dad would have been absolutely thrilled with the sea of women I’ve waded through to get to this one.’

Dean let out a small chuckle and glanced over at his brother. The little, warm smile that had started to spread across his lips filled Dean with a sense of belonging. Sam was his family, Sam accepted him. He’d been of more importance in his life than his father had ever been. But it was hard to shake old thoughts that had been instilled into him from before he could talk. He continued to look at Sam and then did something crazy; he smiled back and allowed himself to think he could try to accept himself and forget about what his father would think.

*

**Month 5**

‘Jimmy, coffee is a gift to the world-‘

‘Don’t even look at me.’

‘But I’m giving you my word that it’s-‘

‘Michael.’

‘ _Jimmy_.’

‘ _Michael_!’

‘Cut! What the hell even is this movie, I’m firing my cousin. Cassie, remember next time not to let me listen to Chuck!’

*

It was dark when Dean and Cas finally left the set, ears and heads aching in the aftermath of Ruby’s screamed demands. Dean couldn’t seem to remember her being _so_ unbelievably unbearable when she was with Sam, but thinking about subtle differences in his brother’s ex-fiancé’s actions was not something he wanted to focus on. He was intent on grounding himself to how relieved he felt to have shot the last scene he’d have to with Ruby and also the fact that he and Cas were able to hold hands as “Dean and Cas”.

He side-eyed Castiel as they walked, taking in his contented smile and almost rosy cheeks. Subtly, he inched closer, narrowing the gap between them. He knew Castiel could tell what he was doing, but he did it anyway. Maybe filming the movie was making him softer, or something, because he ended up grinning like a complete freak and dragging Cas in for a one armed hug as they kept moving. He’d have never done that before, shown affection so easily. So, yeah, maybe it was the constant exposure to it with the film, or maybe it was the never-ending pestering he got from Sam now that Dean’d told him about the relationship that was wearing him down. But he felt confident about keeping Cas close, even at the risk of someone seeing, and he felt free, in a sense.


	14. For You, I Have So Many Words

**Month 6**

‘Okay! Everyone!’ Gabriel’s voice boomed, reverberating around set. Dean winced and paused the conversation he’d been having with Castiel, turning instead to face Gabriel. He could see Charlie hovering with the rest of the crew in his peripheral vision. He felt happy and knew it had been a good idea to invite her on set. ‘Last day of filming! Get your asses in gear and let’s wrap this shit up!’

A chorus of half-hearted cheers rippled through the cast and crew that were present and Gabriel marched over to his director’s chair.

‘Oh!’ Gabe called as an afterthought, ‘Just as a little incentive, the quicker we get this done, the quicker we can plan the party!’

The cheers were more enthusiastic then, because the crew knew that if Gabriel was throwing a party for everyone, there was also the unspoken promise of free booze.

‘I hope Gabriel’s next party is tamer than the last one,’ Castiel murmured in Dean’s ear as they made their way on set.

‘Oh yeah? What happened?’

‘Think _Hangover_ and add nine.’

Dean frowned but nodded as if he got it. Castiel shook his head fondly and linked arms with Dean. Dean nearly flinched away but then calmed as he realised they were in their position on the rooftop, shooting a scene with Anna which would happen around the middle of the film.

Anna smiled up at them from her seat on the floor and then smoothed out her deep blue dress. ‘I’m ready,’ she said, grinning over at Gabriel. The girl was so smiley, it was weird seeing her transition into her character who was completely stoic and serious.

‘Action!’ Gabriel yelled, not even counting it in.

‘Claire,’ Cas greeted, smiling sheepishly down at her.

Anna sniffed and turned her head away from the two men, leaning more solidly back against the wall. ‘Jimmy.’

‘I thought I’d find you here.’

‘Well…’ She trailed off, picking at her nails and avoiding Castiel’s eyes.

‘This is Michael.’ He glanced over at him and lifted his eyebrows as if to say “ _talk, just say something_ ”.

Dean cleared his throat and shot a weak smile in her direction. ‘Hey.’

She whipped her head back around and her stern gaze shifted from Dean to Castiel and back again. ‘I don’t know what you expect me to say, Jimmy.’

Cas bit his lip and let his arm slip out from Dean’s hold. ‘I… I was hoping you’d… if you saw us together you’d be… I don’t know, different?’

She made an ugly noise in the back of her throat and stood up, brushing off her dress. ‘You’ve come here uninvited and expect me to just change my mind once I’ve _seen_ it?’

‘Claire,’ Castiel whispered brokenly. Dean’s heart actually ached hearing that tone from Cas’ mouth – he guessed he had to congratulate the guy for making him actually hurt inside with his acting.

And then _Anna_ looking so pained at hearing him speak like that too. She could convey emotions in her eyes that Dean could only hope to feel. ‘Jimmy.’ Her voice cracked slightly on the second syllable.

Cas dipped his head and let out a tinny, quiet laugh. ‘We used to be so close and now you’re just… You won’t accept me?’

Dean reached out and placed his hand on the small of Cas’ back. Anna looked like she was about to cry, eyes zeroing in on where Dean was touching Cas. Like it was a nervous tick, she brushed down her dress again and stepped back.

‘I can’t go against what I feel, and I’m sorry you can’t see that. What would dad have said?’

And that _really_ struck a chord with Dean and his grip on Cas became tighter, more grounding for him.

‘Don’t you dare bring him into this. What Michael and I have is something to be proud of, not shunned for and it _kills_ me that you can’t see that nor get past a dead man’s bullshit.’

It was one thing reading the lines that resonated so much with Dean in the script, but a whole other thing seeing it play out in real life. It was weird, he felt reassured somehow, like one day he too could stand up to what his dad had drilled into him from such a young age just like Cas’ character. Yeah, it was definitely weird.

Anna stared at Castiel who was breathing heavily for a long while before wordlessly turning around and leaving. Cas visibly sagged and turned on his heel to collapse against Dean. They stood there for a few seconds before Cas pulled back and wiped his eyes. ‘I’m sorry, Michael.’

Dean shook his head and smiled faintly. ‘It’s okay. Don’t apologise, I’m here.’

Cas grinned a watery smile back, staring into Dean’s eyes. ‘Thank you.’

When Cas leaned back into Dean’s embrace, Dean kissed the top of his head spontaneously and hugged him tighter.

‘And cut! I can’t believe we ended on such a downer, but there we have it. And one take! _You guys_ ,’ Gabriel said affectionately, leaping from his director’s chair and making his way over to extract Cas from Dean and transfer him into his own hug.

Dean broke away from the two of them and wandered over to Charlie who was practically vibrating with excitement.

‘You guys are so adorable, I would _so_ not be surprised if you became the next Hollywood power couple.’

Dean scoffed and rolled his eyes. ‘Please.’ Charlie stared back at him with wide eyes over her coffee cup.

‘I’m serious! The _eye contact_ alone was so hot. People are gonna love you.’ Charlie appeared to be getting way too excited thinking about the public response so Dean decided to try and nip the insane notion in the bud.

‘Charlie, c’mon. And anyway, that was supposed to be _sad_ , not hot.’

She exhaled loudly and gripped Dean’s bicep. ‘You’re good to- hey, nice guns – you’re good together, accept it!’

Dean chuckled and tried to shrug her off him to no avail. ‘Thanks. And… maybe I will.’

‘Don’t make it sound like such a childish challenge. Dude, you’re hittin’ _that_. Let the world know!’

‘Okay, Ms Gay Pride, are you gonna let go of my _guns_ now?’

She smiled and winked at Dean. It was surprisingly smooth considering how awkward Charlie’s flirting usually could be. He supposed she’d had Jo as a teacher.

‘We’re done!’ Gabriel screeched in Dean’s ear, shocking him so much that he nearly lost his footing.

‘What the _fuck_ , Gabriel?!’

‘What? I was just letting you know that we have completed the filming! Voila, es complete.’

‘I don’t think that’s correct language,’ Charlie muttered, shaking her head.

‘Who _cares_ , we are _done_!’ Gabriel grinned widely and stretched up on his tip toes to swing an arm around Dean’s shoulders. ‘Dean, we’ve become friends over the course of this rollercoaster journey, have we not?’

Dean scowled but reluctantly answered with ‘I guess.’

‘And you know just how close me and my best friend Castiel over there are, right?’

Dean could vaguely see where this was going. ‘…Yes.’

Gabriel leaned so close to Dean he could feel his lips moving against his ear as he spoke. Dean couldn’t help but feel severely uncomfortable. ‘If you mess with him in any way, shape or form or decide that he doesn’t mean anything to you anymore, I will _fuck you up_. I know I look cute and cuddly, but you haven’t seen me wield my beloved nunchucks.’ Dean gulped because Gabriel _actually_ sounded serious and threatening. Dean must have been dreaming because Gabriel and threatening didn’t really work well in the same sentence unless they were gelled together with an “equals not”. ‘We clear?’ he asked, leaning back and the smile he aimed at Dean was far too sweet and innocent to be comforting.

‘Yes,’ he answered shortly.

‘Good! Glad we’re on the same page. Now, loverboy over there is looking slightly jealous by how close I am to your lips. Might wanna go share with him that I’m only here for perfectly noble reasons.’ And with one last slap to Dean’s shoulder, Gabriel skipped off to talk to Hannah.

Dean glanced over to where Cas was tapping his foot and practically shooting laser beams out of his eyes in Dean’s direction. If it meant furious make up sex, Dean was completely down with the consequences of Castiel’s misunderstanding.


	15. Epilogue - Burning With a New Flame

‘So, _Dean_.’ The interviewer grinned at him with teeth that were so impossibly white he was actually mildly concerned. He nodded at her to continue, prompting an even wider smile. _Please don’t turn into the joker,_ please _don’t turn into the joker_ , he chanted in his head. ‘Your new movie, _Lonely Angel_... It’s done outstandingly well, hasn’t it? I mean, were you surprised at the turn out?’

Dean lifted an eyebrow. ‘Uh, well, we obviously expected that there’d be some backlash? Maybe? But yeah, it’s been going really well and I’m just really pleased rather than surprised because it’s been a really good project to work on,’ _a project where I met the dude I’m currently sleeping with_ ‘I really enjoyed the experience and it was a great cast.’

‘And you were working with Benny Lafitte? You also were cast alongside him in a smaller movie a few years back, weren’t you?’ Dean nodded his head, silently laughing at how she didn’t even bother naming it. ‘What was it like working with him again?’

‘Well, I guess it was good to have some familiarity and he’s such a great guy, really talented and hilarious. We get along well, we’re good friends, yeah.’

‘So how did you feel when you were cast as one of the leads, a character in a gay relationship?’

The inevitable question made Dean inwardly sigh and almost roll his eyes. He still forced a small smile and a chuckle. ‘Well, it was just like any normal acting job, really, ‘cept getting the part was pretty easy. And, uh, it’s not like I was gonna freak out because the other person had a dick.’ The answer hadn’t been true because, yeah, he _had_ freaked out, however that had just been out of fear of how the public would view him and his own struggle on figuring out who he was. But something shifted, finally, in Dean’s head then and he decided to just say it, what his dad would have thought of him be damned. ‘I’m bisexual anyway so… I… Yeah, it was… cool.’ _Cool_.

The reporter’s shocked expression was pretty damn priceless, but she hastily schooled her features and soldiered on with the interview. ‘Oh wow! I honestly didn’t expect that. Well, uh, I guess that leads onto my next question. Have you been seeing anyone special recently?’

The closest relation to a deer caught in the headlights look graced Dean’s features as he tried to process the question. _Did Cas want people to know about them_? _Was Cas even ready for people to know about them_? _Was_ Dean _ready_?

The reporter stared at him expectantly, pen poised over her notepad. Dean didn’t even know why she had the damn thing on her, she was recording everything anyway. He could detect a hint of a knowing look, like she expected him to say ‘Castiel Novak’. Maybe they _hadn’t_ been as cautious as they’d thought when out in public.

‘No comment.’ _Smart. So. Fucking. Smart._ Dean’s eye twitched as he thought over how suspicious and bad that sounded, but at least he’d mostly avoided the question, even if people were probably going to try and tear the two word reply apart and delve into his private life.

‘Okay! Uhh, so, what special features can we expect on the DVD?’ she asked, quickly changing the subject. Dean almost scoffed and rolled his eyes, but he managed to keep it in, going ahead to answer the question.

‘There’s an option for a commentary from our director, Gabriel Shurley, he’s awesome and damn hilarious. I’m pretty sure there’s some stuff with me ‘n Cas on and, uh… Oh yeah! The gag reel. That’s pretty good, uh… Yeah, that’s about it, I think.’

‘One last question, can you just sum up the movie’s plot for the audience who haven’t seen it yet?’

Dean frowned a little and bit his lip. ‘Uhm… It’s a love story. A… gay love story. And you follow the characters through what’s quite a normal situation but you really get to delve into their lives and… who they are, their friendships, their humanity and… personalities.’ Dean shrugged apologetically, knowing his answer was completely shit and inadequate. Even the journalist seemed embarrassed for him. He hated how awkward he could be at the most random of times.

‘ _Lonely Angel_ ’s still in theatres currently and comes out on DVD in February, just in time for Valentine’s Day! I know what I’m asking for!’ the reporter squealed and Dean inwardly winced in discomfiture for being associated with it. Oh well, he’d been associated with worse, he was sure.

*

'Honey, I’m home,’ Dean called out sarcastically as he opened the front door.

‘Oh, darling, I’m so delighted to see you’ve returned from the war!’ Gabriel called back in a high pitched voice.

‘Gabe? The hell’re you doing here?’ Dean asked, feeling a little embarrassed. He frowned as Gabriel walked out from the kitchen, his finger in his mouth.

‘Y’see, Cassie promised me cookies so I thought I’d just drop by unannounced and demand them. I should have called Anna and Benny, actually… Whoops. By the way, _thanks_ for the invite to the house warming party!’

‘We didn’t have one, Gabriel, I've been telling you this all afternoon,' Cas groaned, exasperated, as he also exited the kitchen, making his way straight to Dean. ‘How was it?’

Dean gladly reciprocated the kiss Cas planted on his lips and rolled his eyes behind closed lids at the retching sounds Gabriel made. ‘Ew, gross.’

Dean pulled away and stared at the shorter man. ‘Seriously? If I remember correctly, when we did that on screen, you said, and I quote, “unfortunately we don’t have to shoot this again, that was fucking hot”.’

Castiel smirked and Gabriel floundered. ‘Well I… I mean… Leave me alone, that was different context!’

‘Sure,’ Dean muttered, turning back to Cas. ‘Cookies, huh? You told me you burn everything you even try to cook.’

‘An elaborate rouse so _he_ wouldn’t have to cook,’ Gabriel gasped, slapping a hand over his mock disbelieving glare.

‘I _do_ , that’s why I advised Gabriel not to come.’

‘But _guys_ , I thought we all loved this tightly knit bond we’ve formed!’

‘Nah, you mostly just third wheel mine and Cas’ tightly knit bond,’ Dean said, slipping an arm around Castiel’s waist.

‘You two are actually vile, literally get out of my sight,’ Gabriel groaned, spinning around to face the wall.

Dean smiled but then glanced cautiously between Cas and Gabriel. ‘Hey, Gabe?’

‘Yah?’ Gabriel replied, immediately rotating back around and eyeing Dean’s hand suspiciously as it retracted from its place around Castiel.

‘I… need to talk to Cas about something, if that’s okay?’

Cas frowned up at him and Gabriel soon mirrored the expression with a tad more doubt. ‘Sure… I’ll just go and loot your ridiculously large bathroom of all the towels and mini shampoo bottles.’

‘This isn’t a damn hotel.’

Gabriel shrugged and scampered off. Castiel turned to Dean and lifted an eyebrow, wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist. Dean momentarily forgot his train of thought at the contact but then shook himself out of it, biting down on his bottom lip.

‘I came out.’

The eyebrow stayed elevated, almost like it was frozen in place. Actually, Cas’ whole body was frozen and awkward, like it had been when they’d just been starting to get to know one another. Dean’s bottom lip suffered the brunt of his anxiety at the reaction, blood just about peeking through the cracked skin under razor sharp teeth.

But then Cas smiled and everything melted away _but_ the smile. It was infectious, too, it seemed. ‘In the interview?’

‘Yeah,’ Dean croaked, on a confusing high spawned from both relief and remnant tension.

Cas pulled him in for a full hug and Dean really felt the strength of Cas’ muscles then; it was almost like receiving a hug from Benny.

‘I’m so proud and happy for you,’ Cas mumbled into Dean’s chest. The very same chest that was practically bursting with warmth and just pure adoration for the dude attempting to physically crush the life out of him. He was entirely worth it.

Then Cas smiled up at him and said the same thing he’d confessed many times before.

‘I love you.’

‘You’re okay, I guess.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And on that cheesy note, thank you for reading!


End file.
